I get goosebumps whenever I hear this sound. Metals going against each other, a click, a spring ricochets, and finally another click.
I don't get why my dad carries a gun with him all the time. Whenever we go to the supermarket, to the drugstore, and even to our barber visits, he tags it along with him. It lays beside his pillow at night. So sometimes, I hate it when my dad sleeps inside my room. Knowing that any moment, that gun could go.
Politics definitely ruined the man. He's afraid to go by himself that he now has to carry a gun around for protection. Politics stole my dad's freedom, and in return gave him grudges, hate and enemies.
I swear my dad is a changed man already, but these political animals don't end their victory in winning. They make you feel sorry for trying to beat them. This is in the barangay level. Hello President Noynoy. Have you been good?
THUMP...
My mom's disease, in my opinion is getting worse. I think it's lupus, where one leg is smaller than the other.
I was shopping with her yesterday for black slacks. She never wore anything that reveals her legs. It would always be pants, or a really long skirt. Good thing Marks and Spencers was on sale yesterday, she got what she wanted.
She never told me anything about this disease. And that worries me more. The sonograms, the xray photos are my only clues. I never wanted to ask though, and maybe that's fine with her as well. Her knowing that I don't know anything gives her the relief that I shouldn't be worrying. And with me not knowing allows me to treat her like a normal person. I guess that's how she wanted things to be. To not become a burden to each other. Now that's more like my mom.
It scares me though, everytime she gets new bruises, or a cut, or sprains her elbow whenever she falls down or slips. Eventually, her one leg will have to give up, and my mom would have a hard time walking. And I would have to take care of her by then.
DUBDUB...DUBDUB...
Now there goes my heart, worried about my future.
I'll take a week off and go to Palawan to think things over, my future, career, my life in general. I'll have the world slow things down for me a bit. Connive with the universe, talk to the sea and let the breeze embrace me.
I have to start thinking about my career. One that could support me and my mom in the future. I have to think about my life, is this the path I am willing to take, in like, forever? (gay accent, lols)
In a world where anything goes, I'd like to go for those that works for me. I have been too complacent, and I think I need to move on to the next chapter. I said goodbye to teenage dreams two years ago, now I have to start thinking about the future, my future.
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| The first public appearance of my graduation picture. Have mercy. |
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