So I'll be celebrating my birthday in two days, and I still don't have money to celebrate, "unbusy" friends to compensate, no out-of-town trips to look forward to, in short, I'm bored.
Bored. I've been all work for two weeks now. And last night was different. I was like high school all over again. I went to a new friend's pad and surrendered under Bacardi's mercy. We were playing high school students' games, forgetting about work, the world. For a time, I felt free. But this freedom is one of a kind, something I'd prefer to visit only once in a while. I'd like to be tied down at the end of the day, tied to work, tied to the people I love and care about. Because when I am tied down, then I am free. Being tied down doesn't handicap us, it reminds us of our responsibilities and limitations. Last night, I was irresponsible and limitless. Done.
So what do I do on my birthday? I don't know. My mom's planning on a simple house party, which I immediately said no to. I was so certain that if this happens, my dad's friends are gonna come over and drink. It's bad enough that he asked for Engelbert tickets on my birthday, just get him out of the house on my day, and I'll be okay.
Today, I am afraid of what tomorrow will bring. I am uncertain of what life will bring me. If yesterday I was sure of everything, now it's all a blur.
Maybe this is all because of my upcoming birthday. And I don't really feel good about it.
If yesterday I was sure of everything, now it's all a blur. Maybe this is all because of my upcoming birthday. And I don't really feel good about it.
ReplyDelete-im feeling the same way...in your case, you have 2days and i still have a week to hold it in...its effin crazy. i want to get it over with
maybe it's June. I don't really know. Gah.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm sure I miss you. =)