Playa

Paano patayin ang pusong matagal nang patay?

Hindi inaasahan ni Carlos ang maagang pagkawala ng kanyang fiancé dahil sa isang insidente sa 

Commonwealth. Mahigit isang taon na din nang mamatay ang magkaibigang Ella at  Isha sa isang vehicular accident, kinaladkad ng ten-wheeler truck ang isang pulang Honda Civic alas-siyete ng gabi. Hindi halos mamukhaan ang bangkay ng dalawang dalaga dahil sa tindi na rin ng pagkakabangga.

Mahigit isang taon na ay hindi pa rin nakakalimot si Carlos sa nangyari. Gabi-gabi ay dinadalaw ito ng bangungot sa trahedyang nangyari. Sino ba naman si Carlos para mahimbing ng tulog kung ang inyong kasal ay dalawang araw na lamang ang layo? “Hindi niya talaga dapat sinukat ang wedding gown…” 

Wala tuloy kasal na naganap. Yan ang pinaniniwala ni Carlos sa kanyang sarili.

Muling binisita ni Carlos ang resort na dapat sana’y honeymoon venue nila ni Ella. Nirentahan niya ang honeymoon suite ng magdamag habang nilalagok ang bote ng Jack, humahalo ang tulo nito sa luha sa kanyang pisngi. Nangalahati na ang kaha ng yosi at nagsialisan na din ang mga tao sa swimming pool dahil sa curfew. Wala mang nalunod sa pool noong araw na iyon, ang bisita sa room 209 ay lunod ng husto, sa alak.

Sinalubong si Carlos ng nakangiting sikat ng araw. Bumaba ito upang kumain ng brunch sa cafeteria. Bagamat madaming tao sa cafeteria, tahimik ang mga itong kumakain. Limang mesa ang layo ng isang dalagang kumakain mag-isa. “Sugar, sir?” Hindi napansin ni Carlos ang waitress sa kanyang tabi. Titig na titig siya sa dalagang nagtitiyaga sa pakwan at pinya dahil mukhang nagdidiet ito. “Sir, asukal po?”

“Sino siya?” ito na lamang ang naisagot ni Carlos sa tanong ng waitress. “Si Ma’am Sephra po. From Dumagete.”

“Kelan pa?”

"po?"

"Kelan pa siya nandito?"

“Noong isang araw pa po siya andito eh.

Napatingin si Sephra kay Carlos at doon nagsimula ang lahat. Sinamahan ni Carlos si Sephra sa natitirang apat na araw nito sa Playa Resort. Tuwing alas-siyete ay magkikita ang dalawa sa lobby ng hotel at sabay kakain ng almusal. Pag tanghali naman ay sa coffe shop sila tumatambay, nagkukwentuhan at nagtatawanan. Sa gabi naman ay sa Playa Bar sila umiinom ng alak at sumasayaw hanggang madaling araw.

“Sign kaya ito?” Tanong ni Carlos kay Sephra habang inaabutan ito ng isang baso ng Sidecar.

“Sign ng?”

"Nothing."

"Sign ng?"

“That it’s time for me to move on.”

“Kailangan kong maupo.”

Lumabas si Sephra ng bar at nagsindi ng yosi.

“May problema ba?” Lumabas si Carlos, gulat sa reaksyon ni Sephra.

Umupo si Sephra sa may hagdanan, tumabi sa kanya si Carlos.

“Seph, are you okay?”

Binuksan ni Sephra ang kanyang bag at kinuha ang isa pang maliit na purse sa loob. Kinuha niya ang singsing sa loob at ipinakita kay Carlos.

“I’m getting married next week.”

Tumayo si Carlos. “I think you’ve had enough alcohol…”

“Carlos, ikakasal na ako sa isang linggo.”

Hindi makasagot si Carlos. Tinitigan niya ang mga mata ni Sephra, umaasang sasabihin nito na gawa-gawa lamang niya ang lahat. Na ang apat na araw niya sa piling ni Carlos ang pinakamasayang apat na araw niya mula ng mamatay ang kanyang mapapangasawa.

 “I wanted to have a last taste of being a single woman before I tie the knot. Dahil ayaw kong kapag kasal na ako, saka pa ako magtataksil.”

Pumasok si Carlos sa loob ng bar at umorder ng alak. Sumunod si Sephra sa loob.

“You seem like you needed someone to help you move on. And I was looking for a fling. Akala ko we understood each other?”

“Bullshit.”

“Four days Carlos, you expect magic sa pagitan natin sa loob ng apat na araw? Ginamit kita at ginamit mo ako. Anong mahirap intindihin doon?”

 “And you still believe tama ang ginawa mo?”

“I was only trying to help.”

“You’re playing with emotions!”

“I was helping you move on.”

Lumabas si Sephra ng bar at dumiretso sa kanyang suite. Inempake niya ang lahat ng kanyang damit at nag-drive pabalik ng Manila.

Sa huling araw ni Carlos sa resort, gumising siya katabi ang isang bote ng alak. Nakangiting sinalubong 

ng araw ang loob ng kwarto ni Carlos. Inempake niya ang kanyang mga damit at nag-drive din pabalik ng Manila.

Sabay sa pagbuhos ng ulan, ay bumuhos din ang luha sa mga mata ni Carlos na tila sanay nang magdusa.

Paano nga ba papatayin ang isang pusong matagal nang patay?

Buhayin muli, at saka mo patayin.

WAKAS

Curtain

In a week's time, I will be closing this blog.

It's not that I don't want to write anymore, I still do.

But this blog somehow lost its purpose in the long run. And I don't think it deserves to continue.

I'll be posting some short stories I've written way back, and some poems too, kung poem nga ba ang tawag sa rhyming but incomplete sentences.

Thank you Blogspot, you have been a very wonderful friend, listener, shock absorber. Goodbye for now.

When I think about the future

This thought has been visiting me quite frequently these days. I want to prepare myself for the future. But the irony of it all, my path at present does not lead to the future I want.

The sad part is that, I am not doing anything about it.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I want a life-centered life in the future, no money, or any fame involved.

I want to live in a small hut, by the Emerald Lake in Canada.

I want to learn fishing, and then serve it for dinner everyday.

I want my wife with me, no kids.

I don't want kids.

It's just not right to bring any more people in a cruel world like this.

I'd take dogs, two. One big breed, and the other one small.

We'd treat them like kids, spoil them, and play with them everyday.

I want to grow a garden, and plant vegetables we'd eat everyday.

I want to serve my wife for the rest of my life.

I will write books in the afternoons, and take daily photographs of us.

I want the internet too, for some reason, so I'd update the world of our existence.

I want a boat, and we'll use it for our afternoon stories.

I want to die there too. I want us to die together, so no one will have to be sad alone.

I don't want other people to know about our deaths, but live by our existence through our books and photographs.

I want to plant a tree by the time we move in, hopeful that before we die, it has grown into a big tree, big enough to etch a heart with our names above and under it.

I want to dedicate my life to things that really matter in life.

It's not money, it's not power over other people.

Life was never about these things, it's all about social relationships.

Daily sunrise, daily sunsets. Books. Dogs. The person you love. Prayers. Nature. That, my friends, is Life for me.

Muli

Reminiscing Camp Tiger.

Naaalala ko pa yung mga timba ng luha na iniyak ko, yung sermon na inabot ko, yung puyat.

Naalala ko din yung mga taong iniyakan ko, nakinig sa mga reklamo ko, sumalo ng mga kapalpakan ko.

Nakakamiss din pala ang mundo ng production, kasi doon ako natuto.

Doon ako natutong maging matatag, responsable, at alerto.

Kung ano ang disiplina ko ngayon sa post production, marahil ay dahil din sa katakot-takot na inabot ko sa production side.

Kahit hindi ka magandang experience, gusto kitang balikan.

Sa huling pagkakataon...

Perspective

I believe that happiness is a choice, it always is. People who disagree either refuse to be happy, or don’t deserve to be. 

Yesterday, I made a whole-day plan for myself- Go to the gym, get a haircut, and watch a good movie. I thought it was the perfect plan for the weekend, my first weekend off from work.

Around lunchtime, I thought I’d invite some high school friends to watch the movie with me. They need to get home early, so we decided to catch an earlier screening.

3:30 pm. 

I got to Trinoma 20 minutes before screening time.

Sold out. 

We bought tickets for the next screening at 5:30. I bought two shirts while waiting, had Gong Cha, and told stories. 

After the movie, my friends left, and I went straight to the gym. Gold’s gym usually closes at 12mn. The movie finished around 8. I thought I could still get a haircut, take a shower before working out. I left my locker padlock at home so I had to get a new one before hitting the gym. I dropped by Ace Hardware.

When I got to Timog, barber’s closed, and Gold’s gym was about to close in 15 minutes. WEEKEND. They close early on Saturday and Sunday. No haircut, no gym.

I went to the grocery instead,  bought Goolai for dinner, and went home. 

It was an unproductive Saturday, I keep telling myself that on the way home. I spent P1,200 on clothes, 400 on food, 200 for the movie, 50 for a padlock I never got to use. 

I got off Welcome Rotonda and started walking to my place. It was about to rain. Shit.

I took out my cap and prepared myself for a heavier pour. 

It didn’t. 

It was drizzling, unusually slow.

I paused to admire the droplets of water as the streetlights illuminate them. 

They were pretty.

Then I walked again, now a bit slower.

I told myself that my day wasn’t all that bad. As a matter of fact, it was a good, good day. 

I had a good two-hour chat with Jemae and Junjun while waiting for our movie. 

We shared common interests too, like Gong Cha, and spending. 

I got two cool shirts. Expensive, but cool shirts. One from PRP and another from Fish18.

The Rise of the Planet of the Apes was a really good movie. 

And I was too tired to work out anyway, at 9pm.

It was a great day after all, because I wanted it to be great, and it was my choice.

People can only give opinions and nothing more, letting them decide for us is a decision we make ourselves. 

Life, like happiness, is a matter of choice. Choose to be happy, because only when we want to be happy, will we be. 

Okay, updates

Sinong mag-aakala na mawawala ako ng ganito katagal sa blogsphere? I wasn't too busy to write, I just didn't have the mojo for it. Well, I do now, at least I think I do. So let me update you first, before I get back to writing little nonsenses.

(Kung tamad ka magbasa, proceed to the bulleted version of my updates found below the dotted line.)

Last week, I got a job offer, one I think I really deserved. Ginawa akong Edit Supervisor ng Golden Dove award winning gag show, Lokomoko U na pinagbibidahan nina JC de Vera, Empoy, Tuesday V., Rainier Castillo, Joseph Bitangkol, Valeen, Caloy Alde, Milagring, Luningning, Mariposa etc.

Nakuha ko ito dahil pinagbuti ko ang trabaho ko sa ibang show, at finally napansin nila ang husay ko. HUSAY DAW!? Nakuha ko ito hindi dahil friend ko si Ronald Duata na naniningil kapag nirecommend ka sa isang show, nakuha ko ito dahil nagustuhan ng PUM ng TV5 ang ginagawa ko sa Pinoy Samurai at Sugo Mga Kapatid, both shows, ako ang Editing Supervisor.

Ngayon, ano ang ginagawa ng isang ES/SE? Normally, SE's call the shots sa editing, parang director ng post production. I call the "cut!", the shots, where to begin telling the story, nanggugulo ng sequences, nagpapabilis ng eksena, nagpapadrama by adding slow mo effects, naghihighlight ng eksena kahit hindi naman ganun kaganda, nagtatanggang ng eksenang hindi naman nakakatawa, to make a more effective, creative, storytelling. I tell all these things to my editors, at sila naman ang nag eexecute. For the longest time, I've had really great editors working with me, beterano at beterana na sa craft nila, kaya work is like a breeze.

I mentioned that I am SE-ing Pinoy Samurai as well, pero kahati ko dito ang aking blockmate/friend/editing soulmate na si Judyjoy. Bilang matagal na siyang Post PA ng show, kabisado na niya ang takbo ng bagay, at ako bilang nagmamagaling sa editing, we make a very good team together.

I also mentioned Ronald Duata. Siya na marahil ang pinaka-masamang experience ko sa industriyang pinasok ko. Manyak, mahilig manumbat, power tripper, at lahat lahat na. Hindi ko na din kinaya yung mga ginawa niya for the past two months, kaya naman ginamitan ko na rin siya ng kapangyarihan ko, at ayun, lumayo siya ng kusa. It's a relief na hindi na siya nagtetext, tumatawag, though dinadamay niya ang work sa personal life. I think he took me out of Wow Mali as an editor, pero God saw that coming and gave me Lokomoko instead. Mapapanood pa rin naman ako sa Wow Mali, lalo na ngayong Lunes! Support me! As for him, sana mahuli na sila ng misis nung jowa niya, nakakasira ka kaya ng pamilya.

I am currently managing the renovation of our new IIBB branch in Manila. Swerte ni ma na nabakante yung dating Nid's Binalot across UDMC right after she took a foodcourt sa Ortigas. Dahil hindi masyado okay yung contractor na nakuha ni ma noong una, who charges an estimated 1M for the dining area alone, at renovation lang naman ang gagawin, I took over, with help from my good friends Fritz, Reynard, Franz and Joselle. Kami ngayon ang nag-iisip ng concept, design, food traffic, at lahat-lahat. Pagkatapos nito, gagawa naman kami ng agency, at ipapangalan namin ito sa IIBB for courtesy.

Sana matapos namin ito ng matiwasay, pray for our success.


Nag balik-loob din pala ako sa drums sa katauhan ng Nestoration. Naka-attend ako ng 3 jam sa UST area via Musika Manila, umabot sa 1st recording, pero sumuko din sa huli dahil sa patong patong na schedule. Okay sana ito kung wala akong ginagawa, o kung normal 8 hours a day ang schedule ko sa trabaho, at kung wala akong IIBB na iniisip. Pero hindi pwedeng lahat angkinin, hindi pwedeng gahaman. Matutong pumili ng isa, at saka mo pagbutihin. Doon tayo natututo.

Madami na din akong gastos nitong nagdaang buwan, bagong cellphone, bagong camera, external hard drive na gagamitin ko sana sa Wow Mali editing, new gym fee (Gold's gym), dinner/s with family, etc.

Okay, that was random.

Madami din akong dapat ipagpasalamat. Madalas ko nang nakakasama ang nanay ko dahil madalas na siya dito sa Manila. Nagiging stable na din ang ipon ko, bagamat nababawasan lalo  na at papalapt ang HK trip namin ng Wow Mali family ko sa TV5. Kasama ko din pala dito si Ronald, na ginawan ng paraan na mahiwalay ako sa grupo by splitting us into two groups. Power trip no? But things went to my advantage. Kaya naman walang kaabog-abog kong pinagpaplanuhan ang trip ng Group 2 sa HK. Ako ang itinerarian, booker, budgeter at kung anu-ano pa.

.........................................................................

Summary version ng updates:
1. May bago akong show, Lokomoko. As Supervising Editor
2. Ako din ang Supervising editor ng Pinoy Samurai.
3. Ako pa din ang Supervising editor ng Sugo Mga Kapatid.
4. Hindi na yata ako editor ng Wow Mali, pero lumalabas ako bilang on cam talent.
5. Out na si Ronald Duata sa buhay ko, pero siya, hindi pa out sa kabinet.
6. Mas malaki ang gastos ko keysa sa kinikita.
7. Naging drummer ako for two weeks.
8. Busy ako sa renovation ng bago naming pwesto sa Manila, ang IIBB.
9. Mahal ko ang nanay ko.
10. Pupunta akong Hong Kong next month.

TAPOS.