Here goes.
The plane took off. 50..100...a thousand. I don't know how many feet we were above the ground. My editor told me that she hated the feeling of riding a plane. According to her, the feeling of weightlessness is similar to being helpless. We're in mid-air. I easily got her point.
It's funny how we easily surrender to these innovations for the sake of our convenience. I couldn't help but think that one day, virus will come to us via wi-fi, and that will be the end of us all. And headlines would read, Billions killed in HOTSPOT. I'd do a short film with that title.
Anyway, after taking off, I noticed how the streetlights and houses grow smaller and smaller as we get higher. From that Point De Vue (perspective), I was able to see how big the Philippines is. Question pops inside Wado's head.
"If I die, will the people from these busy streets care?"
I then imagined my funeral with a few people from UST coming in. Some friends from Lucena. Some from TV5. A few barkadas here and there. My family. Nothing follows. Now I think it is sad to be putting this much effort on life just to be wasted on a sad funeral. Then what makes a good funeral?
A Wado is just a microscopic dot on the face of the earth. An atom. Dispensable, nothing. Then what do we live for, really? Is it the things that we do to affect a chosen few? Will it be for the people who depend on us for money, advices, and company? Why are we working so hard for money when in the end, nothing material would matter?
Frankly, my purpose in life had once again, reached a coma. And this is a terrible way to end the year. Imagine having nothing to look forward to the next year. And what's even sad, is that I don't even care. Now something is wrong with me.
Or maybe I'm looking at this at the wrong perspective. Maybe it's right to clear things off my mind for one week or two, just to get everything straight, my priorities in place and my options widespread.
I needed to see my life in another perspective, more like an evaluation of what I have become, what changed and what I wanted to become. Did I grow as a better person? Were the new people I met good influences or bad? Did I let go of the right persons? Did I forgive enough? Sin too much? Became too contented? Aggressive in life?
And so I look back, on my 2009 year-end survey to compare the previous year I just had with the one I'm about to leave. Making a few adjustments, check marks and drawing lines.
Here goes.
My 2009 Goals were :
1. Get a healthy lifestyle master cleanse and a gym membership
2. Win something I won 2k at our Christmas party. I guess that counts?
3. MMMP I guess I made my mom proud with the success of our IIBB Bazaar. Of course with the help from some friends! Reynard, BJ, Joselle and many more!
Top three things you did in 2009 that you've never done before?
1. Went abroad. Thailand baybeh! This year, I went to Japan!
2. Drove somewhere far!!! Tapos nakabisado ang ilang roads sa Manila! I drove to Tagaytay, back and forth trips to Lucena-Manila
3. Skip classes Now I'm skipping work? ahahah!
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
yeah! Fun! Nakakamotivate in some way. I think I did.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Meron din naman. Some highschool classmates, but not friends.
Did anyone close to you die?
friend of friend. mga ganun lang highschool friend din. Lahat highschool?/??
What countries did you visit?
Thailand. Next year, nako! JAPAN! Japan. Ahahah!
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More money! And I did! By landing a job in TV5. I wear/wore the titles of Post Production assistant, Technical P.A. and Supervising Editor. I feel blessed in some ways.
What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Yung month of September. Wag na muna yung WHY. ahahaha. 2010, I think the month of April was the most memorable. Still, I'm keeping the reason mum.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Nung nanalo akong Best Director sa Theater! And nung nakakadrive na ako sa malalayong lugar, and kabisado ko yung daan. ahahah! Graduating from college I guess. =)
What was your biggest failure?
Smoking again. Tolerating a 22 year-old concept which is wrong according to my life philosophy. Labo. NEXT!
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Constant palpitation ng heart due to stress. Yun lang. Injured arm from working out.
What was the best thing you bought?
Rubber shoes ko. Dami naaangasan eh. Kaso luma na siya ngayon. Time to get a new one! My DEME of course! a 15-inch Macbook Pro baby!!! And my Rocky, my GE DV1 HD Video Camera.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Isang close friend. My dad. He's changed for the better after letting go of politics. Finally! Natalo din.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Isang close friend din. Ahahah! Puro close ko! ano ba yan. A close college buddy. All for nothing. Sigh.
Where did most of your money go?
Food and movies! Gahd! Lahat ng magagandang movies, napanood ko! Lagot! Pero yung mga huli na, hindi na masyado. Narealize ko na kailangan ko na talaga magtipid dahil malapit na magpasko. Traveling, and clothes and food. Actually, I've learned to manage my money during the last quarter of the year. Therefore, I was able to distribute them properly. Yay for me!
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Hmmm, nung nag Tarlac kami with friends. Yun na yung pinaka outing ko this year eh. Hindi tuloy sa Camsur. Pffft. err, Christmas bonus? Only to find out that it was rather disappointing. I should not have expected too much from Mr. MVP. ahahah!
What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
Notion by the Kings of Leon Light and Shade. "Be weak, if you want to love..."
Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? definitely happier Happier!
ii. thinner or fatter?hotter. ahahah! Wala sa choices. Thinner siguro Bigger?
iii. richer or poorer? depende. pag money, poorer. friends, richer! Both aspects, richer.
What do you wish you'd done more?
studying. medyo petiks ako this year. Budgetting my money.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
vices. (nako, magtatanong na naman niyan si Erap!) spending. ahahah! And saying yes to everybody.
What was your favorite TV program?
One Tree Hill! Big Bang Theory!!! And yeah, GLEE!
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yeah. Hindi mo naman tinanong kung sino diba? Yeah, the same buddy that disappointed. ahahah! Bitter ako. k.
What was the best book you read?
Hala! Wala ata akong nabasang book this year. Although may pinilit akong book, yung One month to Live, pero di ko na tinapos dhil nakita ko na yung purpose ko sa buhay, na nawala din naman eventually. ahahaha. NEXT!
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Owl City! Glee?
What did you want and get?
Secret! ahaha! pero nakuha ko!!!!!!!! A Macbook.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Zombieland. Sorry, recent eh, so biased ito. Pero magandaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Inception and Avatar.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Nagtatago ako sa bahay, didn't go to school. But my friends surprised me at home, kaya napilitan akong ilibre sila for pizza. ahahah Thanks guys! 21. Uhmm, two consecutive meetings with TV5. Then a surprise dinner at Fat Michael's.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Wala. Satisfied naman na ako eh. Having decided on what I really want to do in life.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Nagpakasimple ako. Plain shirts. ahahah. Loud ako masyado nung isang taon eh, puro prints. Same.
What kept you sane?
Blogging and alcohol. Friends, lovers, family.
Who was the best new person you met?
Cams. =) Si Reynard. Ang taong go sa lahat ng bagay. And GB, my after college barkada.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009 :
Wag magbigay ng sobra. Laging siguraduhin na may tira para sa sarili. Live. Love. Laugh.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"I'm starting with the man in the mirror." "One step at a time, there's no need to rush."
What was your favorite month of 2009?
November. Sige. =) April 2010.
How many concerts did you see in 2009?
Wala. Christmas Concert lang sa UST. ahahahh! Nada. Play meron, RENT! aahahah
Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
YEAH! All caps! In moderation. ahahahh!
Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Oo. Pang pelikula nga eh. I don't wanna share, it's too embarraskin! Hmmm, nothing I can remember.
How much money did you spend in 2009?
Madami din. I don't count anymore, really.
What was your proudest moment of 2009?
Nung nagdrums ako, tapos sinabihan akong magaling ng madaming tao. Hindi pa din kasi ako convinced na magaling ako magdrums eh. ahahah! Selling our family business to people. It's uplifting in a different kind of way. Earning money and working for something that matters to you.
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
Wala naman ata. Wala ulit.
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
Yung recent incident siguro. I would've gone from yes to NO. Something to do with work. ahahah! But I'm okay with the way things are right now.
What are your plans for 2010? 2011
1. Get a good paying job. (abroad sana) World Stage Malaysia this March.
2. Go abroad. Singapore with my family. And Thailand with friends. DCATCH!!!
3. Beach. Beach. Beach. My soul searching week at Puerto Prinsesa, Palawan this January.
4. Earn my first P500,000.
5. Buy a car.
6. Redo my room.
How are you different now that the year has ended?
1. More matured when it comes to relationships siguro. I'm in the process of settling. Chot! haahha!
2. Leraned the true value of friendship. Mas nakilala ko yung mga taong gusto kong makasama sa real world. Still applies. Though I might have been disappointed with some wrong turns somewhere there.
3. Became more sensitive to other people's feelings. Less selfish ba tawag dun? ahah Sensitive na ako. Ma-pride lang talaga.
What are your wishes for the new year?
1. Great job opportunities! More more money!
2. Travel at least two wonderful places Palawan!!! Singapore! Thailand ulit! very Asian.
3. Unending blessings for me and my family and the people I love Forever on my list.
***
Well, that pretty much sums up what I see as the 24 hour countdown for the year 2010 begins. Thank you 2010 for being too nice. Sometimes, I sit down, tell myself that I must have done something really good this time to deserve all the blessings I'm getting. Thank you Lord for the opportunities to learn, to prove myself to the world, to share my love to others, to thank You, to enjoy life and live it to the fullest! Thank you for my family, my friends, my wife, my work.
Forever yours, your good son, Wado.
2010, signing off.
"If I die, will the people from these busy streets care?"
ReplyDeleteno they won't --- but people whose lives you touched will. but then again, you're still a dot in the universe :-) and that thought will help you (me) keep things in perspective.
i remember a scene from "about mr. schmidt" which made quite an impact on me. sabi ni jack nicholson, "if i die, and the people who knew me also die, it's as if, i didn't exist... " sabeh?
i like this entry... :-)
sabi din ng isang di ko maalala na source, a great person never really dies. He lives in the memory of other people. Memories too powerful, it becomes almost human. =)
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