One month to Live

A few months ago, there was this book that I've planned on buying titled "One month to Live". More than a self-help book, it's more of a challenge that would require you to change the way you live your life in thirty days and sooner find out how the book has changed your life.

Four days ago, I found the book at half the price in one newly-opened bookstore. I thought it was a sign, and so I went for the book. Brushing through the first few pages, I couldn't help but be captivated by the challenge. And so I took it. I used my special hard bound notebook as a journal to keep track of my progress in thirty days.

Inasmuch as I would want to finish the book in one sitting, which I easily can, i shouldn't. It's more like a one chapter per day reading, and after every chapter, there's this activity which you should do. Day one includes the "Write five things which you would do if you knew you only had one month to live." The book told me not to think about it much, so I began writing with ease.

1. Thank, hug, affirm the people who play vital roles in my life.
2. Travel the world, take pictures and write about it.
3. Think of at least one thing to be thankful for each day.
4. Say no to the things I don't like, and yes to opportunities and risks.
5. Never to deprive myself of the material things I want.

It's funny how extreme one person could get when you know you only have one month to live. When I thought watching movies and hanging out with friends complete my day, it's not. There's something deeper to this life than wasting it on things that wouldn't really count in the end.

Over the past few months, I realized that i have been spending too much time worrying about how to get by each day being happy and fulfilled. All along the answer was with me. Happiness could not be found in people, things or events, but from within. The grandest fireworks display may mean the world to a child, but nothing to you. It's how you see things, it's how you act upon situations, it's all about you. Mother Theresa once said that there's no use trying to please other people, for it was never really about you and them, it's all about you and Him.

And so these past few days, I find it difficult to be sad over petty things. I just couldn't help but see positivity over everything that's happened to me lately. Some may see it at something big or heavy, but for me, it just shouldn't be. The only way to be happy is just to simply be.

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Naka-ilang backspace na ako. Select all tapos delete.

Hindi ko alam kung paano isususlat o ikukwento.

Kinakabahan akong malaman ng tao, kinakabahan akong isipin sa sarili ko.

Kung pwede sana, ayoko. Pero sa tingin ko, dapat talagang ganito.

Nakakabitin.

Pero wala yun sa tagal, kundi sa dahilan kung bakit ito nagtagal.

Naging masaya tayo. Ako, aminadong natuto.

Salamat sa iyo, dumating ka sa buhay ko.

Ako'y nabago, sa atin ako ay saludo.

Sana okay ito.

Salamat sa iyo. Salamat at naramdaman kong minsa'y minahal at nagmahal ako, ng totoo.

Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
and it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

Roller Coaster life

Kary sent me a quote the other day which went: "Life is like a roller coaster. Maraming twists and turns, ups and downs. But once you overcome your fear for these obstacles, only then can you enjoy the ride."

And so I thought, "oo nga naman". But all the same, I became afraid of becoming too comfortable with the ups and downs I'm going through lately. And it scares me that once I get used to it, it might turn out to be not a so-good habit after all.

A few nights ago, I got really drunk courtesy of Jagermeister in the spirit of trying to forget a chapter in my life. And the hardest part is that I'm actually trying to forget something which is good. Then why am I trying to forget about it then?

Because I have to.

Life gives us challenges, but never one of those we couldn't get through to. Everything's difficult for us at first, but eventually, we'll all realize that it has been for the better. And then we become grateful.

And so I ask myself again, do I see myself thankful in the future? --Getting over this chapter?

Just like a roller coaster, life goes in a never-ending cycle. What happens now, might eventually happen in the future. But what makes it different are the people you share the ride with. People you encourage to be strong, people who holds your hand when you're too afraid of the fall, people who close their eyes with you, people you shout with, laugh with.

What matters in the end is the experience you had with that person during the short ride. 'Cause frankly, and personally, time isn't really the measure of quality, it's what you do with the given time that counts.



Photo with my friends after Persian Kabab, bagong gising.