I may not be a good traveller, but I backpack well

So I saw this site that allows you to mark all the places you've been to in the Philippines. You should visit this site and create your own, I got grade of C-. Cool no? Well I don't have any intentions of coloring this map blue, but for sure there are still some places here that I would like to visit. Like Benguet, Pagudpud, Coron, Camsur, and Bicol.

I'm going to China next week, from November 6 to 12. I'll be taking a week off from work because I really think I deserve it. I 've been sending emails to my friends from China to meet me once I get there, I got one reply from my buddy Ying saying that Xiamen is way too far from where she's at. =( Still keeping my fingers crossed for my other DCATCH friends. 

I've been spending too much lately, but that's only because I'm earning enough, and I think it's okay to spend. So far, I've bought my mom 20k worth of stuff for our restaurant, IIBB which is now open by the  way! Visit our Facebook fanpage to know more about our branch.

I want to get myself a huge mountaineering knapsack so I'd feel like one of the Amazing Race contenders when I travel. Since I'm going to China next week, and Thailand next year, I think I can make the most out of the expensive bag. =)

Any suggestions for a bag? A friend told me Deuter brands are good, and cheaper compared to The North Face. 

I also want to buy a DSLR that can take videos. Since I'll be travelling a lot in the coming days, videos could come in handy. Plus, I want to use the tripod I got before it gets rusty. Nah, too expensive to get rusty. hah! But yeah, I really want to use it. TIME LAPSE!!!!!

I also want to buy a Samsung Galaxy Tab, is it worth it? I want a laptop that I could carry around with me, but I think that the iPad is too big, and iPhones are too small. Galaxy tablets are just perfect in size, what do you think?

Well I think I think too much about spending. Ahahah! Gulo! I want to keep my money vault in its 100k safety zone, so no to spending muna. I have to prioritize the things I need from those that I simply want.  Naks, matured na si Wado! 

So I made this nursery-type poster for IIBB, which includes the "steps" on how to dougie, este, how to eat a binalot sa dahon. Do you find it cute or cheap? Comments naman from my 13 followers. ahahaha! I kept this blog private for a reason, and I intend to keep it that way. May stalker kasi ako sa office, and as much as possible, I'd like to keep him out of my life, for good. In short, mamatay ka na. Bye.

Well I'm working on my China itinerary. Susme, one week. Sobra naman yata ang tagal ko dun! ahahah. But anyway, here's to the good life! Love live backpacking, I can't believe I'm living my dreams at 23! Dream job, medyo okay family, good friends, time for myself, isama mo na din ang lovelife! ahahaah! 

CHINAAAAA HERE I COMEEEE!

And oh, decisions!

When I was younger, I prayed for the day that I would be allowed to decide for myself, thus, be held responsible for my actions. Yung pakiramdam na matured ka na, at oras na nagdecide ka, rerespetuhin ng mga tao yung desisyon mo, dahil alam nila na nasa tamang pag-isip, edad, at wiso ka.

Ngayon, parang ang hirap na, kasi ang dami mo din palang dapat i-consider. Yung mga tao sa paligid mo, yung mga maaapektuhan ng desisyon mo.

Wait, nawala sa utak ko yung point ng blog.

Basta, kaya ako nagsusulat ngayon, kasi masama ang loob ko.

I think I am being restricted to see one of my good friends.

Parang nasa posisyon ako na dapat akong pumili, kung siya ba, o ako.

Ganun.

Ang mahirap jan, pinagdedesisyon ka nila sa sarili mo, pero sa utak nila, may consequences nang nakahanda kapag mali ka ng sagot.

Wah, sabaw na ako, sakto sa panahon, araw ng mga patay.

Deds!

I am sure, I think (updates)

Life is unpredictable, kaya mahirap din na gamitin ng madalas yung salitang "sure na". Yan din naman yung challenge ng buhay eh, yung pagiging handa natin sa mga biglaang pangyayari. Sudden deaths, getting fired, breakups (although hindi ito nangyayari ng biglaan) at marami pang iba.

Unlike other people, mas gusto ko yung hindi nagpaplano, kasi ayaw kong madisappoint kapag may hindi nasusunod. Tulad na lang nung itinerary na ginawa ko sa Hongkong na hindi natuloy. Kaya naman sa nalalapit kong Thailand trip, hindi ako gagawa ng detailed itinerary, basta Day 1- Phuket, Day-2 ...so on. Ganon ang lalabas sa itinerary ko. Salamat sa backpacking opportunity! Salamat din sa backpack na ireregalo sa akin ng NAPAKARAMI KONG FRIENDS! Yay!

Plano kong umalis ng bansa bago matapos ang taon. Bukod pa yan sa Thailand trip ko ngayong February. Dahil kung matatapos man ang mundo next year, gusto ko man lang kumota sa mga lugar na gusto kong puntahan, at least sa Asia.

I took my family out for dinner last night, it was okay. Me and my brother are talking again. Diner got my mom started about my very old lola. Sabi niya, madalas na daw ang pagkukwento ng lola ko about seeing people inside her bedroom, madami daw. As in all the time, nasa loob sila ng kwarto ng lola ko. Sinasama daw siya sa isang excursion sa Bicol. Ayaw sumama ng lola ko dahil wala naman daw siyang gagawin sa Bicol. But if one day, my lola decides to join them, I'll be ready. Hindi naman agad-agad ang decisions ni Lord, He makes it easy for everyone. In His time.

Work has been treating me nicely.

Actually, lahat naman okay. I have been seeing less of myself dahil sa mga ginagawa ko. Dati, halos every month, I go somewhere far. Ngayon, hindi na masyado. Sayang, kung kelan naman may pera na akong sapat para sa mga gusto kong puntahan saka pa hindi pwede. Hindi naman sa hindi pwede, pero dahil hindi kaya ng time. Itututlog ko na lang yung freetime ko. Ahahah!

Anyway, my Facebook and Twitter fasting has been working to my advantage. I missed writing, and I certainly missed a lot of time wasted updating my Twitter and Facebook statuses.

Bye for now!

Small steps

Sabi ko naman sa sarili ko, gagawa ako ng solusyon. There!

I finished making my letter to DMCI requesting for the waiver of our penalties. If this gets approved, ako na mismo ang maghuhulog mg monthly sa condo, at akin na yon!

Tinapos ko na din ang menu ni ma, which I will get printed tomorrow, este later.

I downloaded a BB app to block Ronald Duata's calls and messages on my phone. Kairita lang kasi. Yay! Wala nang bv sa mundo ko.

Pray for my lola who's in the hospital though, and the soul of my good friend's mom who passed away yesterday. She's getting married next month too.

Overpass

Umakyat ako ng overpass sa Welcome Rotonda, 1:10am, bitbit ang susi ng bahay, ang tumbler kong may iced tea at isang stick ng yosi. Pinagmasdan ko ang takbo ng mga jeep, ang pagtawid ng mga taong nag-overtime sa trabaho. Nagpakalunod ako sa ingay ng Pub na may live combo sa kanto, sa busina ng mga sasakyan, sa ingay na tumatakbo sa loob ng utak ko.

Biniro ko pa nga ang utak ko, "kung tumalon kaya ako para matapos na lang ang lahat?" Sumagot ang alter ego ko, sabi niya "Gago, hindi ka mamamatay jan, mababa masyado." Pareho kaming natawa. At naalala ko, takot din pala ako sa heights, at sa pain.

Sinubukan kong pakinggan ang tugtog ng combo. Complicated ni Avril Lavigne. Sabi ng kanta, "why did have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else makes me frustrated. Life's like this you, and you fall, you crawl and you break and you take..."

Tumingin agad ako sa langit at sinabing, si Lord, kausap na naman ako. Tumingin ako sa torre ng Welcome Rotonda at nakita ang isang malaking poster ng La Naval. Naramdaman kong gabay Niya ako sa mga oras na yon.

Umuwi ako ngayon para isulat itong blog at para isulat ang natitira kong buhay. Ako din pala ang sagot sa mga problema ko, ako lang. At Siya. Laban namin ito, against the world, against the non-believers.

Nanood ako kanina ng play na Next to Normal, at doon ko narealize kung gaano ako kaswerte sa pamilya ko. Kahit palpak kami sa maraming bahay, nananatili kaming buo. Nasa ospital ang lola ko, at sabi ni mommy, hindi na din siya magtatagal. Kailangan naming maging matatag sa ganitong pagkakataon. May mahahawakan pa din pala ako, Siya.

Nakakatakot na Disyembre

**This post was made for Tumblr, but after reading it, parang mas bagay siya sa Blogspot. So here I am again, the sad me. Do I get an open arms welcome?

Papalapit na naman ang pagtatapos ng taon, and with endings, come new beginnings. Nakakatakot ang mga pagbabagong kailangan kong harapin, iniisip ko kung worth it bang isuko na lang ang lahat? Kung magiging masaya ba ako sa gagawin ko? Kung kakayanin ko ba?

Hindi ko na din alam kung tama ba ang gagawin ko, dahil hanggang sa oras na to, hindi ko pa din talaga alam ang gusto kong gawin, and that alone, scares me.

I love my job, but not the people. So I guess it was always about the money. Nakukulong ako sa sistemang hindi ko gusto, structured, censored, bullcrap.

I'm becoming the person I don't want to be because of these people. That's not a good thing.

I need answers more that I want them. Kailangan ko ng taong magbibigay sa akin ng sagot. Dahil hindi ko na ito kayang desisyunan mag-isa. Nahihirapan na din ako makipaglaban at makipagpatigasan sa mundo. Hindi ako totoong malakas, hindi ako totoong magaling. Alam ko din kung ano ang para sa akin at kung ano ang hindi. And this isn't for me.

Ayaw kong mamatay bukas, dahil hindi pa ako fulfilled, hindi na ulit. Madami na ulit akong kinatatakutan, dahil siguro wala na akong masyadong kinakapitan. Paumanhin sa mga nagmamahal sa akin, pero sa mundo ko, the way I see it, mag-isa na lang ako. Malungkot dito, at ayaw kong maranasan ninyo ito.

Screw Sundays.