When people come and go (salamat, Foursome)

I drove home with Michael Buble's "HOME" on the radio some thirty minutes ago. As I parked outside our house, I stayed for a few minutes and stared blankly into space. The silence was deafening, it was rather nostalgic. It is Cookai's birthday, and I could not help but reminisce our fond moments together, most of which, if not all, with our group FOURSOME.

Now as tradition calls, we need to prepare a surprise party for her. Now she's not allowed to read this blog until tomorrow night, or else the surprise will be spoiled. =)

**
Remembering Foursome is like going back to one of the best college memories I had. It was definitely a huge chunk of college I could not live without.

The last time we went out together as a group was seven months ago. It was at Jalapeno's, Metrowalk.

The last time we went out happy, was almost a year ago, Christmas time at Keema, Keema.

Anniversary na pala namin eh. Anniversary ng hindi pagiging okay. I vividly remember how we started not being okay. I was there, and I tried out for the role of hero. A hero to the point where in the middle of finals week, sleepless nights and cups of coffee, I had to travel from Timog to Ortigas at 4 in the morning just to fix a fight over something which all four of us normally agree about... a fucked up movie. Had I known that that fight marked the end of what could be a wonderful friendship, I would not have tired myself too much trying to bring us back together for the past eleven months.

Paano ba nagsimula ang Foursome. History class, LISTEN UP!

Nagsimula ito sa Wednesday group composed of Me, Mac, Cookai, Chandra and Dana. Nabuo ang grupo na ito habang nagshooshoot ng documentary for Thailand kung saan kagrupo ko si Cookai.

Hindi kami close ni Cookai at Dana noon, pero magkasama kaming tatlo sa isang grupo para sa DCATCH. nagkataon na ang docu namin ay tungkol sa Marikina, at si Chandra at Mac ay taga Marikina. Right after noong shoot namin, nagdecide kaming uminom sa Gerry's Grill. Nagbonding, natuwa sa bagong mukhang nakilala, at eventually, naging regular na ang paglabas namin tuwing sasapit ang Wednesday. Inom, kain, tambay, kahot ano, basta wednesday. Kung bakit kami naging Wednesday Group, hindi ko alam.

Si Mac ay may bestfriend na si Miko. Medyo malakas ang pagbubuild-up ni Mac kay Miko sa grupo, na umabot sa point na naisip namin na, bakit hindi natin siya isali? Nagkataon naman na nung pumasok si Miko sa eksena, eh medyo napapadalas ang pag-absent ni Dana tuwing wednesday dahil sa kabilang barkada niya na nagtatampo sa kanya.

Akala namin, phase lang ito, hanggang sa nasanay kami na wala si Dana, at nandyan si Miko. Dito nabuo ang isang powerhouse na grupo. Nagkaroon kami ng adventure sa hacienda nina Miko one time, inuman, lasingan, hanggang sa umabot sa puntong nagkalabasan na ng mga sama ng loob dahil sa kalasingan. Eventually, nawala si Mac dahil sa dalawang rason. Una, dahil nagtatampo na din ang isa niyang barkada dahil mas madalas na siya sa amin sumasama. At pangalawa, dahil may mga unresolved issues sa aming lima na hindi namin mahanapan ng sagot.

Dito na pinanganak ang Foursome. Mula noon, hindi na kami mapaghiwalay na apat. Ito ang mga pinagdaanan namin:

discovering Ristras

Ang pagtulong namin sa binahany bahay ni Cookai sa Bulacan.

Ang aming first time sa fazolis.

nung sumubok kami ng ibang inasal.

ang paglilinis sa bhay ng tita ni Chands na tinamaan ng Ondoy

ang basketball game na sinuportahan namin si Miko

ang madalas na overnight sa Corinthians

and hating kapatid dinner sa Chilis

ang chat sessions namin all the way from Japan

ang surprise namin ni Miko kay Chandra

Ang BV dinner sa High Street na nauwi sa best nights ng grupo

Ang memorable na Keema Keema

Ang Mac ni Miko

At finally, ang huling gabi namin bilang isang grupo.

Ngayon siguro marahil ay pagod na ako. Maaring pagod, maaring kontento na na wala sila, maaring mas matured dahil ngayon, finally tinanggap ko na. College barkada nga lang talaga siguro kami.

Maraming salamat Foursome. 

Salamat Cookai dahil sa puso na binigay mo sa grupo. 

Salamat Chandra sa saya na hatid mo sa grupo.

Salamat Miko sa mga aral at payo mo sa grupo.

Salamat sa inyong tatlo, kahit papaano, naniwala ako sa friendship, na totoo palang may ganito.

Magkikita din tayo sa future, pero sa ngayon, isara natin ng maayos ang kabanatang ito. Paalam Foursome, minahal ko kayo. ='(

The Noel Bazaar and Christmas Expo

For the past six days, I've devoted my time and effort to this annual holiday bazaar, the Noel Bazaar at the World Trade Center. The planning was really the hardest, all brains and no assurance of what's about to come up until the day the bazaar opens. We really did not know what to expect, are Manilenyos going to enjoy our food? Is it too pricey? Too cheap?

Preprod came and luckily, I was with my good friend Reynard who helped every step of the way. While I was in charge of the posters, shirt designs, flyers, he was in charge of the food traffic and the booth design. Though I thought we could have avoided the few arguments and conflict of ideas, I think we did a pretty amazing job. People were amazed at how this young generation could be. Reynard and I set up the booth all by ourselves, the preparation, the lighting fixtures, the document/papers, everything, that is alongside our real office works. They said that we have the makings of successful entrepreneurs. I now begin to consider a real IIBB franchise in the Metro.

Last night, mom and I were talking, an she was serious about considering me to open a branch in Manila. Now I'm thinking about it. We'll see how the next three weeks will go, for the meantime, let's do our best with what we have!

A big thank you to my friends who stopped by and supported!

• Bij
• Joselle
• Frans
• Munch
• Cookai
• Chandra
• Aikee

Photoblog ahead!

Here's my mom's calling card. Franchise anyone? ahah! wag muna!

The shurt design I made, see the shirts we're wearing? I designed them. (designer pala!) ahahh! Layout lang. 

Reynard, my sister Bea and Ate May (the Binalot master). Thanks guys!

Day 2 at the Bazaar, Green Shirts! =) Kagulo!

We're eyeing this next event. You think we should come?

Mom's million-dollar smile. Tired from another day's work.

The posters, menu boards, flyers I made. Thanks Deme, such a big help you. heehee

Haven't visited? Fret no more. We are open on the following dates:

Dec 3 to 16 WORLD FESTIVAL BAZAAR (ABS CBN) Opens 10am to 10pm on weekdays. And 10am to 12mn on weekend (fridays included)

And the Noel Bazaar will resume on December 18 to 23. Bazaar opens at 10am to 9pm on weekdays. ANd midnight bazaar on weekends.

Christmas rush is done best at the World Trade Center! Yay! Happy holidays everyone!

Selling a P500 job

The bazaar's picked up really well for the past six weeks. People's response were overwhelming and all praises. So really, I'm seeing great potential in our business, and frankly, I'm beginning to like it.

Natatakot lang siguro ako sa fact na maaring make or break ang pagtatayo ng negosyo dito sa Manila. Pwedeng gusto kami ng mga tao sa bazaar, pero sa real world, hindi na masyado.

Last taping namin sa HT, hindi ako umattend dahil busy ako sa bazaar. Ngayon, naisip kong i-give up ang aking tech P.A. position dahil frankly, ito ang kumakain ng oras ko sa buong linggo. Ang pagiging Supervising Editor ko naman ay once a week lang, yun nga lang, puyatan. Pero every Sunday lang naman ito. Kumbaga, pwedeng part-time. Pero ang Tech P.A., mga tatlong araw na stress at sermon sa loob ng isang linggo.

 P500 lang ang sweldo ko sa Tech P.A., barya compared to the normal compensation na nakukuha ko sa pagiging S.E. na (part deleted). Hindi ko na maalala kung pano napunta sa ganitong setup ang lahat ng bagay, basta one day, ganito na lang.

Compared sa trabaho ng iba na petiks na, no-brainer pa, at halos pareho na kami ng kinikita, feeling ko, lugi ako. Buti na lang at binibigyan pa din ako ni Lord ng reasons to hold on sa trabaho.

Ngayon, ang dilemma ko eh kung saan ako pupulot ng taong willing magtrabaho sa halagang P500. 3 days a week, at 60% stress during taping. Ngayon ko lang narealize na talaga palang charity work itong ginagawa ko bilang tech P.A., kasi kahit ako, hindi ko maimagine ang ibang tao na gagawa nito. And frankly, nahihiya akong i-alok itong posisyon sa ibang  tao, dahil hindi siya reasonable. Sad.

Pero dahil napaka-ganda naman ng trato ng buhay sa akin so far, at hindi naman ako nasesermonan so far, at malaki ang kinita ng bazaar namin so far, at may taong umiinspire sa akin so far, at masaya ang mommy ko so far, so farang tatanggapin ko muna pansamantala ang mga dagdag-isipin na ito.

GV photo of the week, ang dumog-tao na bazaar namin sa World Trade Center!

Kagulo moments sa IIBB booth

Salamat kay Chef reynard at Pareng BJ for stopping by and lending a hand! 

Watch out for our upcoming booth at the World Bazaar Festival at the World Trade Center. Bigger. Bolder. Better.
Bazaar runs from Dec. 3 to 16. Bazaar opens at 10am and ends at 12mn. Don't miss it!

My mom

A day without electricity, and she had to iron my sister's clothes for hospital duty.

Mom took an old-broken flat iron, placed it on top of the stove, and started ironing.

This photo tells so much of my mom. Warm, hardworking, intelligent, and a delight in countless ways.

I love you, ma!

The Mac Fund update

By the end of November, the Mac fund will have accumulated P20,000. That is P20,000 in two months.

This December, i am looking forward to surprise money gifts and tons of work blessings. I just know it.

Or maybe I should join the lotto?

Barkada. Tropa. Pare. ( A Tribute to Mare-Pare)

Kanina, pinapanood ko sa Youtube ang opening billboard ng dati'y paborito kong show na TGIS o Thank God it's Sabado. Napaka-ideal ng barkadahan nila, kaya naman noong bata ako, pinlano ko na magkaroon din ng barkada with 8 members, ma-trap sa isang isla, ma-inlove sa isang kabarkada, at magtayo ng business kasama sila.

Pagdating ko ng highscool, medyo nakakabit pa dito ang konsepto ko ng pagbabarkada. Kaya naman inipon ko ang mga cool people na gusto kong kasama na ma-trap sa isla. Naghanap din ako ng mayaman, para may yacht kaming magagamit. Pero wala. Ang pinakamayaman kong nakuha ay si Jemae, may ari ng construction supplies.

At ang pinaka naging adventure ng barkada namin ay nung mapunta kami sa Bora at sinagot niya lahat ng gastos. Ang pangalan namin ay Rugratz. Cool no?

Pagdating ko sa college, lahat ay nag-iba. Dahil siguro sa culture shock mula probinsiya, straight to Manila. Kinaibigan ko ang mga taong lumalapit sa akin, hindi ako naging choosy. So nakontento na ako sa paisa-isa, dalawa, tatlo. Four at most.

Noong second year, may isa sa amin na nag debut sa Bulacan. Konti lang ang invited. Si Chisha, Joselle, Nicole, Bij, Mackie, Weil, Blae, Chuch. Doon na yata nabuo ang grupong Mare Pare o MP's. Lahat ng kasama sa debut ni Gie, kabarkada na, except kay Chuch na may sariling grupo, at kay Blae dahil...., hindi ko alam.

Medyo gumuho ang idea ko ng TGIS barkada sa MP, dahil madaming restraining orders. Yung iba, kailangan umuwi ng maaga, yung iba, kailangan mag-aral, yung iba, walang pera, yung iba, iba ang trip. Ayaw nila ma-trap sa isla, ayaw nila bumuo ng coffee shop as a barkada. Tutal, college na naman ako, sabi ko, "I'm letting go of the TGIS dream".

Hanggang ngayon, magbabarkada pa din kami, nadagdag lang si Milette, ang special friend ni Bij.

So siyam na kami lahat, lumampas sa walong ideal number ng barkada ayon sa TGIS. Pero okay lang, dahil iba ang excitement na hatid ni mommy Milette na may anak na. Nagkaroon ng kakaibang perspective ang grupo, mas mature, mas responsable, mas credible.

Nalulungkot lang ako sa isang bagay. Hindi ko pa din kasi nararanasan sa kanila ang umiyak sa palibot ng bonfire. Sabi ko, kahit ito na lang sana, matupad. Gusto ko kasi yung pakiramdam na nagkukwentuhan kami tungkol sa buhay, sa pamilya sa isa't-isa, habang umiinom ng beer, gumagawa ng smores, nag iihaw ng hotdog, nagyoyosi. Feeling ko kasi talaga, ganun ang barkada, kahit gaano pa ka-modern yan.

Binalikan ko ang apat na taon namin ng MP, hindi ako nakaranas na umiyak sa harapan nila. Yung thought na yun ang nakakaiyak. Kung tutuusin, konti pa lang ang mga naiyakan ko nitong college. Si Joselle, Cams, Miko, Chandra at Cookai. Tinanong ko tuloy ang sarili ko, nagtitiwala ba ako sa MP? Kung oo, bakit hindi pa ako nakakaiyak sa kanila?

Noong nareshuffle kami, at nalagay sa magkkaibang classes, doon ko na sinuko ang lahat. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, hindi na talaga kami matatrap sa isla. Nagkagulo, naghiwalay ng mga landas. Nanghinayang ako.

Although ngayon, pinipilit pa rin namin ang mga bagay. Pinipilit lumabas kahit na may tensyon na namamagitan. PInipilit lumabas, kahit busy sa work. Pinipilit lumabas kahit ayaw na makita ang isa't-isa. Pinipilit, kasi kahit ayaw aminin, umaasa pa din na maayos ang lahat, at dadating ang panahon na isa sa amin ay may yate na at matatrap kami sa isla ng tatlong araw. At doon, gagawa kami ng bonfire at iiyak sa balikat ng bawat isa.

Kaso, may sari-sarili na kaming buhay. At ang tanging rason na lang na nakikita kong get together ay birthdays, christmas party, at pagkuha ng yearbook.

Siguro mali ako na nag -expect ng cool at outgoing na barkada tulad ng sa TGIS. Nagkaroon ako ng girlfriend sa labas ng barkada. Hindi pa kami nag o-out of town ng buo maliban na lang kung may debuts. Kadalasan, by three's, two's, pero hindi by nine's. Tapos.

Maybe it's wrong to be choosing your friends. And I personally blame TGIS for being cool like that. Hindi kami cool lahat eh. We're a diverse group of people na pinag sama-sama para makita ang strengths and weaknesses ng bawat isa. May nerd, may musician, may athlete, may dancer, may leader, wisdom, may walang emosyon may komedyante, may drama queen, may emo (ako). hahahhah! And we're cool like that.

Pero dahil sa TGIS, may pangarap ako para sa barkada kong MP. Pangarap ko pa din na mag-isla kaming lahat. Kahit hindi na kami ma-trap, kahit hindi na kami mag bonfire. Basta may alak.

Pangarap ko din umiyak sa harapan nilang lahat, kasi doon ko lang masasabi na nagtitiwala na ako sa kanila. But I do trust them, hindi pa lang talaga ako naiiyak.


Pag nakaipon na ako ng pera, susubukan kong buuin tayong muli. Sana pagdating ng panahon na yon, handa na din kayo na makipag buo, makipag ayos sa isa't-isa, gamutin ang mga bukas na sugat. Handa na ulit sundan ang awitin ng buhay. Because we're growing up. (Theme song ng TGIS). At kapag matanda ka na, mamimiss mo din talaga ang mga ganitong bagay. Just like that.

The Final Call

I've been working on something big for the past few months. It's a major career change actually, so I really gave it a good time to breathe, while I on the other hand gave it some serious thinking and considered my best options. Work hasn't been treating me well a lot lately, so I haven't been as much dedicated to it since. I've placed my focus on our family business' bazaar which starts next week. I'll tell more about it later.

I've been trying t look for reasons to quit my job before. But I simply could not find any. Now, I'm finding reasons to stay. It's not that I hate my job, but just some of the people you have to work with. If I stand up for myself, I'll be making some enemies.

So I guess I'll just leave then, when everything is ready, when I am...ready.

I don't like the feeling of being abused or taken for granted. Moreover, I don't like fighting over money. But then again, if money determines your performance, and I'm getting lesser and lesser while my workload goes otherwise, I could not help but think things over. I'm paying for a MacBook, and I want to earn at the same time. It's difficult to take this job seriously, especially when people don't realize your worth. It's bad to compare, but who wouldn't.

Maybe it's true what they say, you shouldn't start business with family or friends. You'll end up fighting over money. Not my cup of tea.

Last week, I got my parents' blessings. They say they'll visit, I couldn't argue anymore.

CONTROL versus CONCERN

I'e been having control issues with the people I love a lot lately. There's a thin red line to it, that we seldom notice the difference. We get too carried away at times that we mistake control with concern. It's not true everyday that because you love someone, and you have "love and concern" as grounds, that you can do anything to protect him or her. Sometimes we want to protect them so much, we end up hurting their egos, their emotions.

People we love posses the greatest potential to hurt us, not because they are better than us, but because they know we'd accept the hurt and the pain.



This will heal, in time.

**anyway, check out our booth at the Noel Bazaar at the World Trade Center on November 24 to 29.




or check out our Facebook fan page for more details.
Search for IHAW IHAW BALOT BALOT on FACEBOOK. Please support and LIKE our page!

Kapag namatay ang taong pinakamamahal mo

Pagkabukas ko ng Facebook, halos gusto kong maiyak.Hindi dahil sa lungkot, pero dahil masaya ako para sa isang kaibigan. Nakita ko ang picture nila ng boyfriend niya na nasa chartered plane, across Mt. Pinatubo crater, para sa kanilang anniversary. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko ineexpect na magiging ganito siya kasaya, lalo na nung matapos ang relasyon niya sa isang kaibigan ko na din, na nag suicide.

Noong una, duda ako sa relasyon nila ng present boyfriend niya. Mula sa relasyon sa kapwa babae, parang nahirapan ako sa shifting na ginawa niya. Parang mahirap yata yun. Akala ko kasi, kapag oras na pumatol ka sa kapwa mo, habambuhay ka nang ganun. Kaya hindi ako naniwala sa bago niyang boyfriend. Pero sa paglipas ng isang taon nilang magkasama ni boyfriend, at sa limang taon na nakilala ko itong kaibigan ko, ngayon ko lang siya nakita na ganito kasaya.

Alam mo yung pakiramdam na genuine yung happiness mo para sa isag tao? Walang bahid ng inggit, pagkamuhi. Basta masaya ka lang para sa kanya, yun na. Nung mamatay kasi yung ex niya, hindi ko alam kung paano siya makakarecover. Una, tago ang relasyon nila sa mundo. Open lang sila sa mga close friends niya kagaya ko. So nung mamatay si ex, hindi ko alam kung paano niya naitago yung sakit, yung mga sleepless nights, yung pagsisisi, yung mga what if's niya. Ang hirap kasi talaga nung sitwasyon nila. Feeling ko, wala akong magawa. Wala naman kasi talaga akong pwedeng gawin. Prayers lang.

Nakita ko yung shift niya, from miserable to wow. Siguro nga, may purpose ang pagpapakamatay ni ex, para makita ni friend ang true love niya. Baka kasi kung hindi siya nagpakamatay, hanggang ngayon, nagtatago sila sa closet, tago sa pamilya, tago sa mapanghusgang mata ng lipunan.

Life gives us options, and our decisions do not assure us of the future we want. We may make wrong calls, and people might not like it. But let us bear in mind that these decisions we make, they define who we are. We may be wrong, so what? Sometimes we need to fall to learn how to stand up by ourselves. if we're wrong, so what? Nobody said we have to do everything right, we just have to make every mistake and every wrong decision count.