Point De Vue

I just came from a recent Bohol-Cebu trip with the people from WOW, Meganon. But this blog will not be about our trip, but rather the realizations I had during our three-day vacation.


Here goes.


The plane took off. 50..100...a thousand. I don't know how many feet we were above the ground. My editor told me that she hated the feeling of riding a plane. According to her, the feeling of weightlessness is similar to being helpless. We're in mid-air. I easily got her point.


It's funny how we easily surrender to these innovations for the sake of our convenience. I couldn't help but think that one day, virus will come to us via wi-fi, and that will be the end of us all. And headlines would read, Billions killed in HOTSPOT. I'd do a short film with that title.


Anyway, after taking off, I noticed how the streetlights and houses grow smaller and smaller as we get higher. From that Point De Vue (perspective), I was able to see how big the Philippines is. Question pops inside Wado's head.


"If I die, will the people from these busy streets care?"


I then imagined my funeral with a few people from UST coming in. Some friends from Lucena. Some from TV5. A few barkadas here and there. My family. Nothing follows. Now I think it is sad to be putting this much effort on life just to be wasted on a sad funeral. Then what makes a good funeral?


A Wado is just a microscopic dot on the face of the earth. An atom. Dispensable, nothing. Then what do we live for, really? Is it the things that we do to affect a chosen few? Will it be for the people who depend on us for money, advices, and company? Why are we working so hard for money when in the end, nothing material would matter?


Frankly, my purpose in life had once again, reached a coma. And this is a terrible way to end the year. Imagine having nothing to look forward to the next year. And what's even sad, is that I don't even care. Now something is wrong with me.


Or maybe I'm looking at this at the wrong perspective. Maybe it's right to clear things off my mind for one week or two, just to get everything straight, my priorities in place and my options widespread.


I needed to see my life in another perspective, more like an evaluation of what I have become, what changed and what I wanted to become. Did I grow as a better person? Were the new people I met good influences or bad? Did I let go of the right persons? Did I forgive enough? Sin too much? Became too contented? Aggressive in life?


And so I look back, on my 2009 year-end survey to compare the previous year I just had with the one I'm about to leave. Making a few adjustments, check marks and drawing lines.


Here goes.







My 2009 Goals were :
1. Get a healthy lifestyle master cleanse and a gym membership
2. Win something I won 2k at our Christmas party. I guess that counts?
3. MMMP I guess I made my mom proud with the success of our IIBB Bazaar. Of course with the help from some friends! Reynard, BJ, Joselle and many more!


Top three things you did in 2009 that you've never done before?
1. Went abroad. Thailand baybeh! This year, I went to Japan!
2. Drove somewhere far!!! Tapos nakabisado ang ilang roads sa Manila! I drove to Tagaytay, back and forth trips to Lucena-Manila
3. Skip classes Now I'm skipping work? ahahah! 


Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
yeah! Fun! Nakakamotivate in some way. I think I did.


Did anyone close to you give birth?
Meron din naman. Some highschool classmates, but not friends.


Did anyone close to you die?
friend of friend. mga ganun lang highschool friend din. Lahat highschool?/??


What countries did you visit?
Thailand. Next year, nako! JAPAN! Japan. Ahahah!


What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More money! And I did! By landing a job in TV5. I wear/wore the titles of Post Production assistant, Technical P.A. and Supervising Editor. I feel blessed in some ways. 


What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Yung month of September. Wag na muna yung WHY. ahahaha. 2010, I think the month of April was the most memorable. Still, I'm keeping the reason mum.


What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Nung nanalo akong Best Director sa Theater! And nung nakakadrive na ako sa malalayong lugar, and kabisado ko yung daan. ahahah! Graduating from college I guess. =)


What was your biggest failure?
Smoking again. Tolerating a 22 year-old concept which is wrong according to my life philosophy. Labo. NEXT!


Did you suffer illness or injury?
Constant palpitation ng heart due to stress. Yun lang. Injured arm from working out. 


What was the best thing you bought?
Rubber shoes ko. Dami naaangasan eh. Kaso luma na siya ngayon. Time to get a new one! My DEME of course! a 15-inch Macbook Pro baby!!! And my Rocky, my GE DV1 HD Video Camera.


Whose behavior merited celebration?
Isang close friend. My dad. He's changed for the better after letting go of politics. Finally! Natalo din.


Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Isang close friend din. Ahahah! Puro close ko! ano ba yan. A close college buddy. All for nothing. Sigh.


Where did most of your money go?
Food and movies! Gahd! Lahat ng magagandang movies, napanood ko! Lagot! Pero yung mga huli na, hindi na masyado. Narealize ko na kailangan ko na talaga magtipid dahil malapit na magpasko. Traveling, and clothes and food. Actually, I've learned to manage my money during the last quarter of the year. Therefore, I was able to distribute them properly. Yay for me!


What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Hmmm, nung nag Tarlac kami with friends. Yun na yung pinaka outing ko this year eh. Hindi tuloy sa Camsur. Pffft. err, Christmas bonus? Only to find out that it was rather disappointing. I should not have expected too much from Mr. MVP. ahahah! 


What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
Notion by the Kings of Leon Light and Shade. "Be weak, if you want to love..."


Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? definitely happier Happier!
ii. thinner or fatter?hotter. ahahah! Wala sa choices. Thinner siguro Bigger?
iii. richer or poorer? depende. pag money, poorer. friends, richer! Both aspects, richer.


What do you wish you'd done more?
studying. medyo petiks ako this year. Budgetting my money.


What do you wish you'd done less of?
vices. (nako, magtatanong na naman niyan si Erap!) spending. ahahah! And saying yes to everybody.


What was your favorite TV program?
One Tree Hill! Big Bang Theory!!! And yeah, GLEE!


Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yeah. Hindi mo naman tinanong kung sino diba? Yeah, the same buddy that disappointed. ahahah! Bitter ako. k. 


What was the best book you read?
Hala! Wala ata akong nabasang book this year. Although may pinilit akong book, yung One month to Live, pero di ko na tinapos dhil nakita ko na yung purpose ko sa buhay, na nawala din naman eventually. ahahaha. NEXT!


What was your greatest musical discovery?
Owl City! Glee? 


What did you want and get?
Secret! ahaha! pero nakuha ko!!!!!!!! A Macbook. 


What was your favorite film of this year?
Zombieland. Sorry, recent eh, so biased ito. Pero magandaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Inception and Avatar.


What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Nagtatago ako sa bahay, didn't go to school. But my friends surprised me at home, kaya napilitan akong ilibre sila for pizza. ahahah Thanks guys! 21. Uhmm, two consecutive meetings with TV5. Then a surprise dinner at Fat Michael's. 


What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Wala. Satisfied naman na ako eh. Having decided on what I really want to do in life. 


How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Nagpakasimple ako. Plain shirts. ahahah. Loud ako masyado nung isang taon eh, puro prints. Same.


What kept you sane?
Blogging and alcohol. Friends, lovers, family. 


Who was the best new person you met?
Cams. =) Si Reynard. Ang taong go sa lahat ng bagay. And GB, my after college barkada. 


Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009 :
Wag magbigay ng sobra. Laging siguraduhin na may tira para sa sarili. Live. Love. Laugh. 


Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"I'm starting with the man in the mirror." "One step at a time, there's no need to rush."


What was your favorite month of 2009?
November. Sige. =) April 2010.


How many concerts did you see in 2009?
Wala. Christmas Concert lang sa UST. ahahahh! Nada. Play meron, RENT! aahahah


Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
YEAH! All caps! In moderation. ahahahh!


Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Oo. Pang pelikula nga eh. I don't wanna share, it's too embarraskin! Hmmm, nothing I can remember.


How much money did you spend in 2009?
Madami din. I don't count anymore, really.


What was your proudest moment of 2009?
Nung nagdrums ako, tapos sinabihan akong magaling ng madaming tao. Hindi pa din kasi ako convinced na magaling ako magdrums eh. ahahah! Selling our family business to people. It's uplifting in a different kind of way. Earning money and working for something that matters to you. 


What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
Wala naman ata. Wala ulit. 


If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
Yung recent incident siguro. I would've gone from yes to NO. Something to do with work. ahahah! But I'm okay with the way things are right now.


What are your plans for 2010? 2011
1. Get a good paying job. (abroad sana) World Stage Malaysia this March.
2. Go abroad. Singapore with my family. And Thailand with friends. DCATCH!!!
3. Beach. Beach. Beach. My soul searching week at Puerto Prinsesa, Palawan this January.
4. Earn my first P500,000.
5. Buy a  car.
6. Redo my room.


How are you different now that the year has ended?
1. More matured when it comes to relationships siguro. I'm in the process of settling. Chot! haahha!
2. Leraned the true value of friendship. Mas nakilala ko yung mga taong gusto kong makasama sa real world. Still applies. Though I might have been disappointed with some wrong turns somewhere there. 
3. Became more sensitive to other people's feelings. Less selfish ba tawag dun? ahah Sensitive na ako. Ma-pride lang talaga.


What are your wishes for the new year?
1. Great job opportunities! More more money!
2. Travel at least two wonderful places Palawan!!! Singapore! Thailand ulit! very Asian.
3. Unending blessings for me and my family and the people I love Forever on my list.


***

Well, that pretty much sums up what I see as the 24 hour countdown for the year 2010 begins. Thank you 2010 for being too nice. Sometimes, I sit down, tell myself that I must have done something really good this time to deserve all the blessings I'm getting. Thank you Lord for the opportunities to learn, to prove myself to the world, to share my love to others, to thank You, to enjoy life and live it to the fullest! Thank you for my family, my friends, my wife, my work. 

Forever yours, your good son, Wado. 

2010, signing off. 

A different Christmas

It was quarter past ten and our family is running late for the 10pm mass. It was drizzling, and the weather outside is cold. Eldest sibling (nurse) is on hospital duty for Christmas, second sibling's become Christian and decides not to attend mass with us.

And then there were four.

Mom and I walked ahead and found the Carmel of St. Joseph overwhelmed with people. Most of them were already standing, good thing an old timer saw us and got us some monoblock chairs. Mom and I sat together, dad and Symon on the other end. Before Homily, it started to drizzle some more.

I opened my umbrella for mom and me, and suddenly, everything went silent. The priest stopped his homily, the crowd was blank and unresponsive. Was it just me or did everything just turn creepy?

There. It was just me and my mom, on Christmas eve. Did it feel lonely having two family members out of the picture?

Different. Not lonely, but rather different. I would have wanted both my sister with me, just like the old times. but hey, work is work, and religion is religion. We have to respect that.

It was unusual for us to celebrate Christmas without any home decors, a tree, a cake, a feast. Blame it on the bazaar that took the last month of the year away from us. But hey, if it puts food on the table, who can I blame?

Mom and I started our little talks. I could hear the priest murmur some lectures on the back, but above it all, I could hear my mom and me talking sense, loud and clear. We sat in the rain, arms clenched together, under one umbrella and heard mass. This reminded me of one of the best Christmases, if not the bestest, I had.

FLASHBACK

I was six years old. Mom and I were left at home for Christmas Eve. My two sisters went to Lucena to visit my lola for Christmas. My dad went home to Batangas. December 24, I could not wait to open my gifts.

4:00pm, mom decided to bring me to church. At 6, I could not help but ask her Christmas questions.

"Anong handa natin mamaya?" (What are we having for Noche Buena?)

"Kelan uuwi sina achi?" (When will my sisters return?)

"What time can I open my presents?"

"Do I really have to wait until midnight?"

I can feel my mom's frustrations. She wanted to give me answers I wanted to hear, but all she had were ones that would disappoint.

I endured the hour-long Christmas mass just to get to the answers I've been waiting for.

Breaking the silence, she asked me:

"Saan mo gustong kumain?" (Where do you want to eat?)

CRASH

That's my hope for a feast crashing down. Goodbye ice cream, goodbye cakes. She did not prepare for the two of us tonight.

Mom brought me to Cindy's, a really old burger chain which now only exists at Tarlac. I had burger and spaghetti for dinner, while my mom watched me eat. I was kind of disappointed, really. But somehow, I tried to keep it to myself. Now, I realize I was simply being sensitive to her feelings back then. I would not want to hurt her feelings so I acted as if I was enjoying the meal. Imagine, at 6....I can act, or so I thought. ahah

We went home and watched Sunday news together. She let me open my presents..err, make that present. I opened one gift, and that was a train set from Santa. I did not like it at all, it looked cheap, and it almost did not work. I tried playing with it for a time, just enough to make her feel that I loved Santa's gift. At 8pm, she wanted me to sleep.

Could this day get any more boring?

As she tucked me in bed, I could not get this weird smile off my face. It took me a while before I was able to put the pieces together.

I thought I just had the most amazing Christmas ever. And I did. At 6, I found the true meaning of Christmas. It was never about the food, or the gifts you receive. It's about the birth of Jesus, the thanksgiving, the warm company of the people you spend the holidays with.

Before I went to seep that night, I went back to the wonderful day I just had. I was with my mom the entire day, and all her attention was on me. I was really thankful that sensitivity made an early visit on my part. Had I been stubborn with the sad dinner and toys, I would have ruined the entire Christmas feel. (And would not have arrived at this realization!)

So whenever people would ask me about my best Christmas ever, I would always have to go back to this one. Why? Because at 6, I am proud to have found the true meaning of the season. Since then, I was never a fan of huge expensive gifts and wow parties. Plus, I hated surprises too. I wanted to keep everything simple. That way, we can put our attention as to why we are celebrating such occasions. Like birthdays, and yeah, Christmas.

So I guess my mom taught me to become the sensitive, appreciative, loving, generous, simple person I am today. That, for me, is the greatest Christmas present I have ever received.

Me and mom after hearing mass today. Lord, thank you for this wonderful gift! Happy birthday!

You said it Nina

I don't wanna see your face
I don't wanna hear your name
I don't wanna thing just stay away baby yeah

Don't wanna know if you're alright
Or what you're doin' with your life
Don't wanna hear you say that you'll stay in touch maybe

I'll get by just fine
And if you're goin' then darlin' goodbye, goodbye

[Chorus:]
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it'll be the way it was before
Don't think that I care
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend

[Verse 2:]
I'll forget we ever met
I'll forget I ever let
Ever let you into this heart of mine baby yeah
You just gotta let me be
You gotta keep away from me
'Cause all I want is just to be free from you baby

Don't you come around
And say you still care about me
Just go now, go now

[Chorus:]
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it'll be the way it was before
Don't think that I care
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend

[Bridge:]
You take it so casually
But baby it's killing me...Yeah

Goodbye, goodbye

[Chorus:]
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it'll be the way it was before
No baby

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend
Don't wanna be your friend
Don't call me
Don't come around
Don't wanna be your friend...

Oh bother!

I tried talking to my brother early this morning. I guess we finally grew apart. He didn’t want to talk, he said he’d had too much for the past couple of years that he really does not want to talk anymore. I gave it my best shot, and he didn’t want it. That’s all I was after actually, certainty that he did not want me. Because frankly, that is what keeps me up at night—the thought of a younger brother looking for some big brotherly company, and not getting any. I guess I assumed too much, or maybe have complacently situated myself in a position that he will need me eventually.

Now I can finally let go. Now that I know he’s ready to live life without me. I now let God take control. Please give him the brotherly companion when he needs it most. I’m moving aside.

Flames to Dust

It’s like I just came from a recent break-up. One morning, we were so certain of our future, and next thing you know, we’re strangers. It’s funny how things can leap from one emotion to another. More like a freak accident when everything happens so fast, circumstances won’t give you transition periods.

Now what I got here is more like a premonition. I’ve foreseen everything before. Not through a vision, but more like a flat fact which is inevitable, like death. I was never sure about how long we’ll last, but I was pretty sure we’ll end sooner or later. I just wasn’t expecting it to be this soon.

They say people always leave. Could we blame them? I say leaving is a part of life, inevitable, like death. When people die, they leave. But we don’t get mad about it, but we rather cry. Leaving was never easy, for anyone. A kid to his yaya, a deported OFW to his American dream, a teacher to his graduating students. These are the moments we fret but certain of will end. Then why do we do it then? We must be loving the feeling of break-ups, being left behind, or leaving.

I say no. Nobody does. So just like the billion other people who felt that they were left behind, I mourn. I know the feeling, trust me. I’ve been left behind before, oh, many times before. But you see, I’m stronger now, or that is what I keep telling myself. We’re trying hard to become stronger, stronger for the people who are afraid to lose us whenever we get left behind. It’s a cycle.

Since I already saw this break-up coming, I went two steps ahead of the flow of things, and went straight to the breakup. They say, I’m too aggressive, that I rush things that I easily jump to conclusions. Well I don’t like it either. And you running after me do not make things easier.

So tell me, are we going to last forever? In my own world maybe. Where I had our future on blueprints, our house designed atop a cliff, with a perfect view of the Himalayas. We’d have coffees on our porch, barbeques with the neighbors, and maybe some wild drinking parties from time to time. But it’s too selfish to claim the world all to myself. In your world, other guys can make you happy, other guys can make you listen, understand and believe the points I’ve ben trying to tell you ever since we started. I might be saying the right things all along, I just wasn’t the right person to tell.

So with goodbyes come the sleepless nights of knowing that the mornings will welcome me one person less. We’ll that is one thing I have to deal with everyday, or at least until the day I can finally accept that it’s over.

In difficult breakups, I only learn one thing-- that what I had was something big. Big does not come to anybody anymore these days. Big comes only to those who deserve them, and I am thankful for having been deserving at some point in my life. It was short-lived, but you made sure it was worth it. Thank you so much.

When people come and go (salamat, Foursome)

I drove home with Michael Buble's "HOME" on the radio some thirty minutes ago. As I parked outside our house, I stayed for a few minutes and stared blankly into space. The silence was deafening, it was rather nostalgic. It is Cookai's birthday, and I could not help but reminisce our fond moments together, most of which, if not all, with our group FOURSOME.

Now as tradition calls, we need to prepare a surprise party for her. Now she's not allowed to read this blog until tomorrow night, or else the surprise will be spoiled. =)

**
Remembering Foursome is like going back to one of the best college memories I had. It was definitely a huge chunk of college I could not live without.

The last time we went out together as a group was seven months ago. It was at Jalapeno's, Metrowalk.

The last time we went out happy, was almost a year ago, Christmas time at Keema, Keema.

Anniversary na pala namin eh. Anniversary ng hindi pagiging okay. I vividly remember how we started not being okay. I was there, and I tried out for the role of hero. A hero to the point where in the middle of finals week, sleepless nights and cups of coffee, I had to travel from Timog to Ortigas at 4 in the morning just to fix a fight over something which all four of us normally agree about... a fucked up movie. Had I known that that fight marked the end of what could be a wonderful friendship, I would not have tired myself too much trying to bring us back together for the past eleven months.

Paano ba nagsimula ang Foursome. History class, LISTEN UP!

Nagsimula ito sa Wednesday group composed of Me, Mac, Cookai, Chandra and Dana. Nabuo ang grupo na ito habang nagshooshoot ng documentary for Thailand kung saan kagrupo ko si Cookai.

Hindi kami close ni Cookai at Dana noon, pero magkasama kaming tatlo sa isang grupo para sa DCATCH. nagkataon na ang docu namin ay tungkol sa Marikina, at si Chandra at Mac ay taga Marikina. Right after noong shoot namin, nagdecide kaming uminom sa Gerry's Grill. Nagbonding, natuwa sa bagong mukhang nakilala, at eventually, naging regular na ang paglabas namin tuwing sasapit ang Wednesday. Inom, kain, tambay, kahot ano, basta wednesday. Kung bakit kami naging Wednesday Group, hindi ko alam.

Si Mac ay may bestfriend na si Miko. Medyo malakas ang pagbubuild-up ni Mac kay Miko sa grupo, na umabot sa point na naisip namin na, bakit hindi natin siya isali? Nagkataon naman na nung pumasok si Miko sa eksena, eh medyo napapadalas ang pag-absent ni Dana tuwing wednesday dahil sa kabilang barkada niya na nagtatampo sa kanya.

Akala namin, phase lang ito, hanggang sa nasanay kami na wala si Dana, at nandyan si Miko. Dito nabuo ang isang powerhouse na grupo. Nagkaroon kami ng adventure sa hacienda nina Miko one time, inuman, lasingan, hanggang sa umabot sa puntong nagkalabasan na ng mga sama ng loob dahil sa kalasingan. Eventually, nawala si Mac dahil sa dalawang rason. Una, dahil nagtatampo na din ang isa niyang barkada dahil mas madalas na siya sa amin sumasama. At pangalawa, dahil may mga unresolved issues sa aming lima na hindi namin mahanapan ng sagot.

Dito na pinanganak ang Foursome. Mula noon, hindi na kami mapaghiwalay na apat. Ito ang mga pinagdaanan namin:

discovering Ristras

Ang pagtulong namin sa binahany bahay ni Cookai sa Bulacan.

Ang aming first time sa fazolis.

nung sumubok kami ng ibang inasal.

ang paglilinis sa bhay ng tita ni Chands na tinamaan ng Ondoy

ang basketball game na sinuportahan namin si Miko

ang madalas na overnight sa Corinthians

and hating kapatid dinner sa Chilis

ang chat sessions namin all the way from Japan

ang surprise namin ni Miko kay Chandra

Ang BV dinner sa High Street na nauwi sa best nights ng grupo

Ang memorable na Keema Keema

Ang Mac ni Miko

At finally, ang huling gabi namin bilang isang grupo.

Ngayon siguro marahil ay pagod na ako. Maaring pagod, maaring kontento na na wala sila, maaring mas matured dahil ngayon, finally tinanggap ko na. College barkada nga lang talaga siguro kami.

Maraming salamat Foursome. 

Salamat Cookai dahil sa puso na binigay mo sa grupo. 

Salamat Chandra sa saya na hatid mo sa grupo.

Salamat Miko sa mga aral at payo mo sa grupo.

Salamat sa inyong tatlo, kahit papaano, naniwala ako sa friendship, na totoo palang may ganito.

Magkikita din tayo sa future, pero sa ngayon, isara natin ng maayos ang kabanatang ito. Paalam Foursome, minahal ko kayo. ='(

The Noel Bazaar and Christmas Expo

For the past six days, I've devoted my time and effort to this annual holiday bazaar, the Noel Bazaar at the World Trade Center. The planning was really the hardest, all brains and no assurance of what's about to come up until the day the bazaar opens. We really did not know what to expect, are Manilenyos going to enjoy our food? Is it too pricey? Too cheap?

Preprod came and luckily, I was with my good friend Reynard who helped every step of the way. While I was in charge of the posters, shirt designs, flyers, he was in charge of the food traffic and the booth design. Though I thought we could have avoided the few arguments and conflict of ideas, I think we did a pretty amazing job. People were amazed at how this young generation could be. Reynard and I set up the booth all by ourselves, the preparation, the lighting fixtures, the document/papers, everything, that is alongside our real office works. They said that we have the makings of successful entrepreneurs. I now begin to consider a real IIBB franchise in the Metro.

Last night, mom and I were talking, an she was serious about considering me to open a branch in Manila. Now I'm thinking about it. We'll see how the next three weeks will go, for the meantime, let's do our best with what we have!

A big thank you to my friends who stopped by and supported!

• Bij
• Joselle
• Frans
• Munch
• Cookai
• Chandra
• Aikee

Photoblog ahead!

Here's my mom's calling card. Franchise anyone? ahah! wag muna!

The shurt design I made, see the shirts we're wearing? I designed them. (designer pala!) ahahh! Layout lang. 

Reynard, my sister Bea and Ate May (the Binalot master). Thanks guys!

Day 2 at the Bazaar, Green Shirts! =) Kagulo!

We're eyeing this next event. You think we should come?

Mom's million-dollar smile. Tired from another day's work.

The posters, menu boards, flyers I made. Thanks Deme, such a big help you. heehee

Haven't visited? Fret no more. We are open on the following dates:

Dec 3 to 16 WORLD FESTIVAL BAZAAR (ABS CBN) Opens 10am to 10pm on weekdays. And 10am to 12mn on weekend (fridays included)

And the Noel Bazaar will resume on December 18 to 23. Bazaar opens at 10am to 9pm on weekdays. ANd midnight bazaar on weekends.

Christmas rush is done best at the World Trade Center! Yay! Happy holidays everyone!

Selling a P500 job

The bazaar's picked up really well for the past six weeks. People's response were overwhelming and all praises. So really, I'm seeing great potential in our business, and frankly, I'm beginning to like it.

Natatakot lang siguro ako sa fact na maaring make or break ang pagtatayo ng negosyo dito sa Manila. Pwedeng gusto kami ng mga tao sa bazaar, pero sa real world, hindi na masyado.

Last taping namin sa HT, hindi ako umattend dahil busy ako sa bazaar. Ngayon, naisip kong i-give up ang aking tech P.A. position dahil frankly, ito ang kumakain ng oras ko sa buong linggo. Ang pagiging Supervising Editor ko naman ay once a week lang, yun nga lang, puyatan. Pero every Sunday lang naman ito. Kumbaga, pwedeng part-time. Pero ang Tech P.A., mga tatlong araw na stress at sermon sa loob ng isang linggo.

 P500 lang ang sweldo ko sa Tech P.A., barya compared to the normal compensation na nakukuha ko sa pagiging S.E. na (part deleted). Hindi ko na maalala kung pano napunta sa ganitong setup ang lahat ng bagay, basta one day, ganito na lang.

Compared sa trabaho ng iba na petiks na, no-brainer pa, at halos pareho na kami ng kinikita, feeling ko, lugi ako. Buti na lang at binibigyan pa din ako ni Lord ng reasons to hold on sa trabaho.

Ngayon, ang dilemma ko eh kung saan ako pupulot ng taong willing magtrabaho sa halagang P500. 3 days a week, at 60% stress during taping. Ngayon ko lang narealize na talaga palang charity work itong ginagawa ko bilang tech P.A., kasi kahit ako, hindi ko maimagine ang ibang tao na gagawa nito. And frankly, nahihiya akong i-alok itong posisyon sa ibang  tao, dahil hindi siya reasonable. Sad.

Pero dahil napaka-ganda naman ng trato ng buhay sa akin so far, at hindi naman ako nasesermonan so far, at malaki ang kinita ng bazaar namin so far, at may taong umiinspire sa akin so far, at masaya ang mommy ko so far, so farang tatanggapin ko muna pansamantala ang mga dagdag-isipin na ito.

GV photo of the week, ang dumog-tao na bazaar namin sa World Trade Center!

Kagulo moments sa IIBB booth

Salamat kay Chef reynard at Pareng BJ for stopping by and lending a hand! 

Watch out for our upcoming booth at the World Bazaar Festival at the World Trade Center. Bigger. Bolder. Better.
Bazaar runs from Dec. 3 to 16. Bazaar opens at 10am and ends at 12mn. Don't miss it!

My mom

A day without electricity, and she had to iron my sister's clothes for hospital duty.

Mom took an old-broken flat iron, placed it on top of the stove, and started ironing.

This photo tells so much of my mom. Warm, hardworking, intelligent, and a delight in countless ways.

I love you, ma!

The Mac Fund update

By the end of November, the Mac fund will have accumulated P20,000. That is P20,000 in two months.

This December, i am looking forward to surprise money gifts and tons of work blessings. I just know it.

Or maybe I should join the lotto?

Barkada. Tropa. Pare. ( A Tribute to Mare-Pare)

Kanina, pinapanood ko sa Youtube ang opening billboard ng dati'y paborito kong show na TGIS o Thank God it's Sabado. Napaka-ideal ng barkadahan nila, kaya naman noong bata ako, pinlano ko na magkaroon din ng barkada with 8 members, ma-trap sa isang isla, ma-inlove sa isang kabarkada, at magtayo ng business kasama sila.

Pagdating ko ng highscool, medyo nakakabit pa dito ang konsepto ko ng pagbabarkada. Kaya naman inipon ko ang mga cool people na gusto kong kasama na ma-trap sa isla. Naghanap din ako ng mayaman, para may yacht kaming magagamit. Pero wala. Ang pinakamayaman kong nakuha ay si Jemae, may ari ng construction supplies.

At ang pinaka naging adventure ng barkada namin ay nung mapunta kami sa Bora at sinagot niya lahat ng gastos. Ang pangalan namin ay Rugratz. Cool no?

Pagdating ko sa college, lahat ay nag-iba. Dahil siguro sa culture shock mula probinsiya, straight to Manila. Kinaibigan ko ang mga taong lumalapit sa akin, hindi ako naging choosy. So nakontento na ako sa paisa-isa, dalawa, tatlo. Four at most.

Noong second year, may isa sa amin na nag debut sa Bulacan. Konti lang ang invited. Si Chisha, Joselle, Nicole, Bij, Mackie, Weil, Blae, Chuch. Doon na yata nabuo ang grupong Mare Pare o MP's. Lahat ng kasama sa debut ni Gie, kabarkada na, except kay Chuch na may sariling grupo, at kay Blae dahil...., hindi ko alam.

Medyo gumuho ang idea ko ng TGIS barkada sa MP, dahil madaming restraining orders. Yung iba, kailangan umuwi ng maaga, yung iba, kailangan mag-aral, yung iba, walang pera, yung iba, iba ang trip. Ayaw nila ma-trap sa isla, ayaw nila bumuo ng coffee shop as a barkada. Tutal, college na naman ako, sabi ko, "I'm letting go of the TGIS dream".

Hanggang ngayon, magbabarkada pa din kami, nadagdag lang si Milette, ang special friend ni Bij.

So siyam na kami lahat, lumampas sa walong ideal number ng barkada ayon sa TGIS. Pero okay lang, dahil iba ang excitement na hatid ni mommy Milette na may anak na. Nagkaroon ng kakaibang perspective ang grupo, mas mature, mas responsable, mas credible.

Nalulungkot lang ako sa isang bagay. Hindi ko pa din kasi nararanasan sa kanila ang umiyak sa palibot ng bonfire. Sabi ko, kahit ito na lang sana, matupad. Gusto ko kasi yung pakiramdam na nagkukwentuhan kami tungkol sa buhay, sa pamilya sa isa't-isa, habang umiinom ng beer, gumagawa ng smores, nag iihaw ng hotdog, nagyoyosi. Feeling ko kasi talaga, ganun ang barkada, kahit gaano pa ka-modern yan.

Binalikan ko ang apat na taon namin ng MP, hindi ako nakaranas na umiyak sa harapan nila. Yung thought na yun ang nakakaiyak. Kung tutuusin, konti pa lang ang mga naiyakan ko nitong college. Si Joselle, Cams, Miko, Chandra at Cookai. Tinanong ko tuloy ang sarili ko, nagtitiwala ba ako sa MP? Kung oo, bakit hindi pa ako nakakaiyak sa kanila?

Noong nareshuffle kami, at nalagay sa magkkaibang classes, doon ko na sinuko ang lahat. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, hindi na talaga kami matatrap sa isla. Nagkagulo, naghiwalay ng mga landas. Nanghinayang ako.

Although ngayon, pinipilit pa rin namin ang mga bagay. Pinipilit lumabas kahit na may tensyon na namamagitan. PInipilit lumabas, kahit busy sa work. Pinipilit lumabas kahit ayaw na makita ang isa't-isa. Pinipilit, kasi kahit ayaw aminin, umaasa pa din na maayos ang lahat, at dadating ang panahon na isa sa amin ay may yate na at matatrap kami sa isla ng tatlong araw. At doon, gagawa kami ng bonfire at iiyak sa balikat ng bawat isa.

Kaso, may sari-sarili na kaming buhay. At ang tanging rason na lang na nakikita kong get together ay birthdays, christmas party, at pagkuha ng yearbook.

Siguro mali ako na nag -expect ng cool at outgoing na barkada tulad ng sa TGIS. Nagkaroon ako ng girlfriend sa labas ng barkada. Hindi pa kami nag o-out of town ng buo maliban na lang kung may debuts. Kadalasan, by three's, two's, pero hindi by nine's. Tapos.

Maybe it's wrong to be choosing your friends. And I personally blame TGIS for being cool like that. Hindi kami cool lahat eh. We're a diverse group of people na pinag sama-sama para makita ang strengths and weaknesses ng bawat isa. May nerd, may musician, may athlete, may dancer, may leader, wisdom, may walang emosyon may komedyante, may drama queen, may emo (ako). hahahhah! And we're cool like that.

Pero dahil sa TGIS, may pangarap ako para sa barkada kong MP. Pangarap ko pa din na mag-isla kaming lahat. Kahit hindi na kami ma-trap, kahit hindi na kami mag bonfire. Basta may alak.

Pangarap ko din umiyak sa harapan nilang lahat, kasi doon ko lang masasabi na nagtitiwala na ako sa kanila. But I do trust them, hindi pa lang talaga ako naiiyak.


Pag nakaipon na ako ng pera, susubukan kong buuin tayong muli. Sana pagdating ng panahon na yon, handa na din kayo na makipag buo, makipag ayos sa isa't-isa, gamutin ang mga bukas na sugat. Handa na ulit sundan ang awitin ng buhay. Because we're growing up. (Theme song ng TGIS). At kapag matanda ka na, mamimiss mo din talaga ang mga ganitong bagay. Just like that.

The Final Call

I've been working on something big for the past few months. It's a major career change actually, so I really gave it a good time to breathe, while I on the other hand gave it some serious thinking and considered my best options. Work hasn't been treating me well a lot lately, so I haven't been as much dedicated to it since. I've placed my focus on our family business' bazaar which starts next week. I'll tell more about it later.

I've been trying t look for reasons to quit my job before. But I simply could not find any. Now, I'm finding reasons to stay. It's not that I hate my job, but just some of the people you have to work with. If I stand up for myself, I'll be making some enemies.

So I guess I'll just leave then, when everything is ready, when I am...ready.

I don't like the feeling of being abused or taken for granted. Moreover, I don't like fighting over money. But then again, if money determines your performance, and I'm getting lesser and lesser while my workload goes otherwise, I could not help but think things over. I'm paying for a MacBook, and I want to earn at the same time. It's difficult to take this job seriously, especially when people don't realize your worth. It's bad to compare, but who wouldn't.

Maybe it's true what they say, you shouldn't start business with family or friends. You'll end up fighting over money. Not my cup of tea.

Last week, I got my parents' blessings. They say they'll visit, I couldn't argue anymore.

CONTROL versus CONCERN

I'e been having control issues with the people I love a lot lately. There's a thin red line to it, that we seldom notice the difference. We get too carried away at times that we mistake control with concern. It's not true everyday that because you love someone, and you have "love and concern" as grounds, that you can do anything to protect him or her. Sometimes we want to protect them so much, we end up hurting their egos, their emotions.

People we love posses the greatest potential to hurt us, not because they are better than us, but because they know we'd accept the hurt and the pain.



This will heal, in time.

**anyway, check out our booth at the Noel Bazaar at the World Trade Center on November 24 to 29.




or check out our Facebook fan page for more details.
Search for IHAW IHAW BALOT BALOT on FACEBOOK. Please support and LIKE our page!

Kapag namatay ang taong pinakamamahal mo

Pagkabukas ko ng Facebook, halos gusto kong maiyak.Hindi dahil sa lungkot, pero dahil masaya ako para sa isang kaibigan. Nakita ko ang picture nila ng boyfriend niya na nasa chartered plane, across Mt. Pinatubo crater, para sa kanilang anniversary. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko ineexpect na magiging ganito siya kasaya, lalo na nung matapos ang relasyon niya sa isang kaibigan ko na din, na nag suicide.

Noong una, duda ako sa relasyon nila ng present boyfriend niya. Mula sa relasyon sa kapwa babae, parang nahirapan ako sa shifting na ginawa niya. Parang mahirap yata yun. Akala ko kasi, kapag oras na pumatol ka sa kapwa mo, habambuhay ka nang ganun. Kaya hindi ako naniwala sa bago niyang boyfriend. Pero sa paglipas ng isang taon nilang magkasama ni boyfriend, at sa limang taon na nakilala ko itong kaibigan ko, ngayon ko lang siya nakita na ganito kasaya.

Alam mo yung pakiramdam na genuine yung happiness mo para sa isag tao? Walang bahid ng inggit, pagkamuhi. Basta masaya ka lang para sa kanya, yun na. Nung mamatay kasi yung ex niya, hindi ko alam kung paano siya makakarecover. Una, tago ang relasyon nila sa mundo. Open lang sila sa mga close friends niya kagaya ko. So nung mamatay si ex, hindi ko alam kung paano niya naitago yung sakit, yung mga sleepless nights, yung pagsisisi, yung mga what if's niya. Ang hirap kasi talaga nung sitwasyon nila. Feeling ko, wala akong magawa. Wala naman kasi talaga akong pwedeng gawin. Prayers lang.

Nakita ko yung shift niya, from miserable to wow. Siguro nga, may purpose ang pagpapakamatay ni ex, para makita ni friend ang true love niya. Baka kasi kung hindi siya nagpakamatay, hanggang ngayon, nagtatago sila sa closet, tago sa pamilya, tago sa mapanghusgang mata ng lipunan.

Life gives us options, and our decisions do not assure us of the future we want. We may make wrong calls, and people might not like it. But let us bear in mind that these decisions we make, they define who we are. We may be wrong, so what? Sometimes we need to fall to learn how to stand up by ourselves. if we're wrong, so what? Nobody said we have to do everything right, we just have to make every mistake and every wrong decision count.

Mahirap daw magpalaki ng magulang

Ininspeksyon ko ang bahay pagka-dating ko sa Lucena. Kung malinis ba, kung safe pa bang tirahan, kung hindi ba maiinip ang nanay ko kapag wala kami. Napapansin ko kasing napapadalas ang pagbisita nila sa Manila lately, kaya naman ako nagiging ganito kapraning.

Buti na lang at abala ang mom ko sa bago niyang hobby, ang Herbal Life. Busy siya sa pag attend ng seminars, sa pagpapagawa ng Nutrition Center sa Lucena, sa pagbebenta ng Herbal Life stuffs. At least hindi siya bored. Same goes with my dad who just lost the elections, mas may time na siya with my mom, with the business (minus the kupit please?), at sa Herbal Life.

Naisip ko, okay na din siguro, kesa naman sa wala silang pinagkakaabalahan.

Sa loob ng kotse, nagtanong si dad.

Happy ka na ba sa work mo? Okay naman sweldo?

Hindi sapat compared sa iba. Charity work minsan.

Ganyan din sa barangay eh. Kaya hindi na din ako masyado nangampanya nitong huli.

(*Ah, buti na lang hindi ako nag donate ng limang sako ng semento sa kampanya mo, hindi ka naman ala seryoso eh.)

***

Anyway, malungkot ako ngayong araw. Bothered. Pressured. Stressed. Ewan.

Kainag tanghali kasi, pinag uuspaan namin ang bazaar ng GMA7 na kasali kami. Sa Nov. 27 (punta kayo please? Sa World Trade Center. Two weeks.) Eh bilang hindi ako Commerce, wala ako masyadong alam sa ganito. Ako ang pinapamahala ng lahat.

Isa pa.

Ang renovation ng IIBB na matagal nang pinangarap ng nanay ko. Sana matuloy na sa tulong ng aking mga mapagmahal na kaibigan. Si Tutch, si Fritz, si Reynard at si Joselle. Pabalik kami ng Lucena sa Nov. 2 para isaayos ang lahat ng bagay. Hirap lang kausap ni ma na gusto magrenovate, pero ayaw pakawalan ang karamihan sa mga concept at design ng IIBB. Magiging mahirap yata ito. Pero para matapos na at wala na siyang masabi pa, sige na. Tapusin na natin ito.

Magpapahinga muna ako mula sa totoo kong trabaho para pagbigyan ang mga magulang na ito. Kanila na muna ang atensyon ko.

Kanina, para masaya sila...

Kanina, dahil araw ng mga patay at narealize ko ang ikli ng buhay...

Kanina, para naman makasama ko ng masaya at mas mahaba ang mga magulang ko...

Kanina, para kahit sa biglaang pagkakataon, maka-pasyal ulit kami ng buo...

Nakita ko ang 50% seat sale ng Cebu Pacific. Singapore, for 6 agad. Wala nang isip-isip pa.

Na-miss ko ang pamilya ko. Kanila muna ako. Ang trabaho naman, nanjan lang, mawala man, makakahanap ka din ng iba. Ang pamilya, isa lang. Makulit man minsan, magulo at pabagu-bago ang isip, hahanapin mo din yung kakaibang lambing na kahit sa kaninong tao mo hanapin, aminin mo, sila lang ang may kakayahang makapagbigay.

Married

Minsan, nabanggit ng isang babaeng kaibigan na posible daw na ako ang mapangasawa niya. Naisip ko, hmm, pwede nga naman.

Kagabi, nanaginip ako. Handa na daw siyang magpakasal. Gusto na raw ng pamilya niya, at gusto na din daw niya dahil may trabaho naman daw kami at nasa wastong edad na. Kinabahan daw ako dahil pakiramdam ko, yung joke niya dati ay parang commitment ko na din sa kanya, at napilitan akong ikasal sa kanya dahil hindi ako marunong tumanggi.

Hiniling ko na lang daw na itago namin ang kasal sa buong mundo. Secret wedding kumbaga. Sa makatuwid, sa kwarto ko naganap ang kasalan. Bago magsimula ang seremonya, bumisita ang isang kaibigan na lalaki sa bahay. Isang malapit na kaibigan.

"Bakit bihis ka? Anong meron?"

"Ah, eto, wala. May meeting ako mamaya eh."

"Naks! Coat!"

Bumalik ako sa kwarto at nakita ang aking bride-to-be. Nandun din ang kanyang pamilya. Yung akin, wala. Inisip kong tawagan ang pamilya ko, kahit nanay ko lang. Para man lang sa kasal ko, kahit secret, kahit biglaan, alam niya. Pero naisip ko, wag na lang. Itatago ko na lang sa kanya.

Sa kalagitnaan ng seremonya, kumakatok ang tropa sa pinto ng kwarto ko. Sinilip ko at sinabing, "sandali na lang, bababa na ako".

Natapos ang kasal.

Diretso labas kami ng mga tropa at uminom. Akala nila, normal boys night out, ayun pala, wedding reception na ang dating sa akin.

Pagkalipas ng isang araw, nasa bahay daw ako, Facebook mode. Naalala ko bigla na kasal na pala ako. Shet. Tinawagan ko si asawa. Kinamusta. Empty. Blanko.

Dumating ang pamilya ko sa bahay. Hindi daw ako makakilos ng tama. Hindi ko matingnan sa mata ang nanay ko. Nakaklungkot na parang ewan. Ganito pala ang pakiramdam.

Nagising ako na mabigat ang loob. Feeling ko, I cheated. Kasi sa panaginip ko, kinasal ako. Pakiramdam ko, taksil akong anak, kaibigan, lover, kapatid, lahat na. Kasi nilihim ko sa buong mundo ang kasal ko. Then it snapped. Panaginip lang pala. Panaginip lang.

RANDOMS.

It's that time of the year

When we make a list of the gifts we want to receive for Christmas! Since it's xmas 2010, I'm making my top ten list.

Here goes:

1. A roundtrip ticket to Bangkok. I miss the place as much as I miss my Thai friends. The food, the busy streets, the friendly people. Wow.

2. A North Face bag. I'm getting tired with my old NF bag. Though it still works perfectly fine, anther one wouldn't hurt. =) Especially one with a laptop sleeve inside. heeeheee.

3. Running shoes! My pamporma Adidas shoes-turned jogging and gym shoes are worn out and ragged. I need new running shoes. Cross training ba tawag dun?

4. Seven shirts from FnX. too bad they took out the cartoons design. I would have loved wearing Tom and Jerry, Daffy and the rest. Why seven? Because FnX week sounds fun. ahahah! Grr, I'm getting another one this week.

5. Havaianas. I have two slippers from Flojos. But I'm missing my Havs. It was my must-hav. ahahah!

6. A portable EHD. My terabyte is heavy...heavy like the love you've shown...PYRAMID!!! ahahah. But sometimes, I need to carry my files along with me. So a portable external hard drive could come in handy. =)

7. A cool sticker for my Deme. I saw Ryan's Macbook with a Canon sticker. I could easily identify his Mac from the others because of that sticker. Hope my Deme could get something as cool as that.

8. A lomo camera. What must a guy do to get one of these cute babies? nuff said.

9. A hoodie with no zippers. Thought this jacket looks Harvard-y. Kahit sa porma like, magmukha akong Mark Zuckerberg-y/. PS, The Social Network isda bomb! But his photo here, hoodies got zippers. ahahh!


10. A Chowchow. And I will name you Peru. =) Labblabb