Two nights ago, I had a dream about Angel Locsin twice. Same place, same people, same party, but the only difference was how the party ended. Let me tell you about it.
My friend and I went to this underground party one night, and saw Angel Locsin dancing with her girlfriends. She was wearing this sexy blue dress and smelled like my neighbor Bonnienie, like a baby.
My best friend and I approached her and asked her to dance, eventually, she agreed.
Big bouncers and bodyguards were all over the place.
A few seconds later, we heard a gunshot and everybody started running. My friend grabbed Angel's and my hand and led us inside this room for safety.
One or two guards saw us enter the room. "Sabi ko na may balak yung dalawang kumag na yun eh!" The guards went after us and shot us. We died, painting this bloody image where Angel was in the middle of two good friends, all peaceful.
And then I woke up. I went downstairs to get myself a glass of water before going back to bed. When I returned to my REM stage, my dream commenced once more.
Same party, same crowd. I knew what was gonna happen, so I was a little cautious this time.
My friend and I went to this underground party one night, and saw Angel Locsin dancing with her girlfriends. She was wearing this sexy blue dress and smelled like my neighbor Bonnienie, like a baby.
My best friend and I approached her and asked her to dance, eventually, she agreed.
Big bouncers and bodyguards were all over the place.
A few seconds later, we heard a gunshot and everybody started running. My friend grabbed Angel's hand, while I, knowing what would happen if I went with them, chose to leave with the rest of the people running. When I looked back, both of them were gone.
When the place was clear of guns and people, I went back only to see my friend and Angel drenched in their own blood. Angel was still breathing.
"Ganito ba siya kabulok umarte? Patay na, pero humihinga pa?" Inside my head, I laughed at the joke. Angel tried to reach out her hand, so I approached her.
What should I say to a dying person? To make her feel that the life she had was well-lived and that she was loved enough?
Screw that. I ended up telling how great an actress she was, and how I felt bad when she moved to Channel 2. Haha! When she took her last breath, I thanked her. I don't know why I did that, but I knew, I had to thank her.
I woke up once more, this time feeling a lot better. I didn't die, because I knew what was coming. Though I felt bad having to leave my friend behind. Who would have known that running away with the rest of the crowd would change the story?
Why Angel? I don't know. But one thing I learned is that, always know how to appreciate people. Learn to thank and compliment them every single day!
Today, I sent a message to two of my most beloved friends, thanked them for making my day!
Tomorrow, I will thank the world.
Everyday, I will thank my Lord!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
A Christmas Carol
I went to see this film in a not so cheap manner, sa IMAX, 3D pa! O-ha!
After swimming training and tryouts for the new members, and after rehearsing for Chandra's talent for MMAB, I still decided to watch it despite the fear of falling asleep in an expensive movie. Ahahah!
The 3d experience (first time for Chands) was worth it.. Seeing the sparkle in her eyes when she first saw the gigantic screen, the fact that she wore the 3d glasses and took a picture of herself. All fun. =)
Sila: Wado, para kang nakasuot ng goggles! (And then they all laughed)
Then I remembered that I have my goggles with me since I came from swimming training. And so while they were all busy taking pictures of themselves, I took off my 3D glasses and replaced them with my goggles.
WADO: Paano ninyo naman nasabing para akong naka-goggles?
They all looked back at me and laughed so hard.
CHANDRA: That's your best joke e-vah! ahahaha!
It actually made my night. And until 4am, we were rehearsing for Chanrdra's dance number. GV all the way.
Kahit pala pagod ka, when you're in good company, you find it hard to sleep, dahil ayaw mong may ma-miss na masayang pangyayari.
Back to the film, it wasn't what I expected from the trailer. Akala ko, feel good na Christmas movie with jingle bells ringing throughout, pero hindi. It was kinda dark and serious and talked about death as a penalty for not believing in Christmas, poverty, making fun of people.
Maganda naman yung movie eh, I just don't think the children would understand it, or worse, appreciate.
Anyway, 30 days to go before Christmas! I feel the cool December breeze na!
Sneeze gear on!
After swimming training and tryouts for the new members, and after rehearsing for Chandra's talent for MMAB, I still decided to watch it despite the fear of falling asleep in an expensive movie. Ahahah!
The 3d experience (first time for Chands) was worth it.. Seeing the sparkle in her eyes when she first saw the gigantic screen, the fact that she wore the 3d glasses and took a picture of herself. All fun. =)
Sila: Wado, para kang nakasuot ng goggles! (And then they all laughed)
Then I remembered that I have my goggles with me since I came from swimming training. And so while they were all busy taking pictures of themselves, I took off my 3D glasses and replaced them with my goggles.
WADO: Paano ninyo naman nasabing para akong naka-goggles?
They all looked back at me and laughed so hard.
CHANDRA: That's your best joke e-vah! ahahaha!
It actually made my night. And until 4am, we were rehearsing for Chanrdra's dance number. GV all the way.
Kahit pala pagod ka, when you're in good company, you find it hard to sleep, dahil ayaw mong may ma-miss na masayang pangyayari.
Back to the film, it wasn't what I expected from the trailer. Akala ko, feel good na Christmas movie with jingle bells ringing throughout, pero hindi. It was kinda dark and serious and talked about death as a penalty for not believing in Christmas, poverty, making fun of people.
Maganda naman yung movie eh, I just don't think the children would understand it, or worse, appreciate.
Anyway, 30 days to go before Christmas! I feel the cool December breeze na!
Sneeze gear on!
What is your greatest fierce?
Got this line from a friend's status in Facebook, and it really made me laugh. =)
IN just one week, I threw out a month's worth of waterworks that I didn't ask for. Well who would? The last time I cried this much was some three months ago (I think) over the phone with (part deleted) where we argued over our differences. Only this time, I cried of pain, grave suffering, and a whole lot of misunderstanding.
Crying is like puking. The process isn't at all pretty, but you'll feel good afterwards, because you've finally made a release.
Release--everyone needs it, don't we all?
Well, people have different ways of releasing anger and sorrow. While I prefer keeping it to myself, others choose to be more vocal and physically expressive.
Snap. I just realized that as far as I could recall, this problem made me cry more than any other problems I've had before. But why don't I see it as a big problem?
Not even a small problem.
Not even a problem.
But rather a challenge.
What makes a challenge different from a problem? Nothing much I suppose. But challenges are the ones you fight for, fight against, and fight with. While problems, you just have to deal with them whether you like it or not. While problems and challenges both makes us stronger, the latter gives us a choice, to take it or not to take it.
For the record, this I think, is one of the greatest challenge I decided to take. It is scary, and at times heart-breaking. But what matters is that at the end of it all, I know it will make me stronger, better. I might not win the challenge, but taking on it is definitely a huge step for me.
Wado to Challenge: Bring it on!
IN just one week, I threw out a month's worth of waterworks that I didn't ask for. Well who would? The last time I cried this much was some three months ago (I think) over the phone with (part deleted) where we argued over our differences. Only this time, I cried of pain, grave suffering, and a whole lot of misunderstanding.
Crying is like puking. The process isn't at all pretty, but you'll feel good afterwards, because you've finally made a release.
Release--everyone needs it, don't we all?
Well, people have different ways of releasing anger and sorrow. While I prefer keeping it to myself, others choose to be more vocal and physically expressive.
Snap. I just realized that as far as I could recall, this problem made me cry more than any other problems I've had before. But why don't I see it as a big problem?
Not even a small problem.
Not even a problem.
But rather a challenge.
What makes a challenge different from a problem? Nothing much I suppose. But challenges are the ones you fight for, fight against, and fight with. While problems, you just have to deal with them whether you like it or not. While problems and challenges both makes us stronger, the latter gives us a choice, to take it or not to take it.
For the record, this I think, is one of the greatest challenge I decided to take. It is scary, and at times heart-breaking. But what matters is that at the end of it all, I know it will make me stronger, better. I might not win the challenge, but taking on it is definitely a huge step for me.
Wado to Challenge: Bring it on!
Friday, November 6, 2009
A thing for the beach
Looking through my previous blog posts on Multiply, I realized one thing. Most of the fiction stories I wrote are connected to the beach in some way. And most of these blogs, if not all, are my favorites.
I guess I have this really crazy thing for the beach, and how strongly it reminds me of the simpler me. Looking at the vast blue sky and listening to the waves dying as they reach the shore calms me.
And so right now, I think I need to be at the beach.
It is my happy place.
I guess I have this really crazy thing for the beach, and how strongly it reminds me of the simpler me. Looking at the vast blue sky and listening to the waves dying as they reach the shore calms me.
And so right now, I think I need to be at the beach.
It is my happy place.
Roadkill
Past 4:00am I was driving along EDSA. The cool BER month breeze blowing through my ears as I counted the streetlights pass me by. Five minutes more, I had to close the windows. I thought I needed to get away from people. My vision began to blur as tears started to circle my eyes. I had to close them from time to time to see the road clearly. As if closing them were enough to help me clearly see what life has in store for me. It wasn't.
The radio's volume was up, and deaf was all I'd ever be. Cars piled up behind me, yet their blows of horn was as shallow as butterfly's whisper. People said I move on too quickly. But last night, I asked myself, why the tears? Why in pain?
The radio's volume was up, and deaf was all I'd ever be. Cars piled up behind me, yet their blows of horn was as shallow as butterfly's whisper. People said I move on too quickly. But last night, I asked myself, why the tears? Why in pain?
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Fondness and the like
So I'm chatting with this stranger from St. Paul who sent me a message last week, asking if I was from Ateneo. She became too persistent that it is now quite difficult for me to keep myself away from her. She's now asking for my cellphone number, and sends me a message everytime I go online.
Now I know she's hitting on me when she starts noticing how Korean actor I look and how I should enter showbiz and all. Interestingly enough, she's only in her 2nd year, college.
I smiled.
I suddenly felt the rush I used to have way back in highschool where people stalk you like mad. I've had people calling my house, following me at malls, strangers texting me. For the bikini open I joined, I even got a group of people waiting for me outside asking for an autograph. Funny, but not something I'd laugh about.
That was my last taste of limelight and I wouldn't want any more servings. Overwhelming yes, but not enough to give away the quiet life I've always wanted.
So here I am again, tolerating this young girl's fondness. Now she's asking about my lovelife, the breakup, and everything good about me. It's nice to get people like **** every now and then. It makes you feel special and appreciated, and not the kind you get from the people who know you. Sometimes, it's a bonus to get praises from strangers. it means you are really doing well, well enough for these strangers to notice you.
Now I know she's hitting on me when she starts noticing how Korean actor I look and how I should enter showbiz and all. Interestingly enough, she's only in her 2nd year, college.
I smiled.
I suddenly felt the rush I used to have way back in highschool where people stalk you like mad. I've had people calling my house, following me at malls, strangers texting me. For the bikini open I joined, I even got a group of people waiting for me outside asking for an autograph. Funny, but not something I'd laugh about.
That was my last taste of limelight and I wouldn't want any more servings. Overwhelming yes, but not enough to give away the quiet life I've always wanted.
So here I am again, tolerating this young girl's fondness. Now she's asking about my lovelife, the breakup, and everything good about me. It's nice to get people like **** every now and then. It makes you feel special and appreciated, and not the kind you get from the people who know you. Sometimes, it's a bonus to get praises from strangers. it means you are really doing well, well enough for these strangers to notice you.
At the middle of it all
In the midst of playing Cafe World and watching the Lord of the Rings for the first time, a thought came upon me.
What do I want now?
On top of my head, I seriously want to go back to Manila. Other than that, all else is uncertain.
Going home where everything seems stagnant makes me stow away from what I thought were my goals back in Manila. It's different here when everybody else thinks you are this much, when in reality, you are only this enough. And people here would not understand your satisfaction. Ironically, they do not even get to half the satisfaction I have of myself. Sad.
Napagod ako.
And there's this friend who's been nagging me about editing a video for her months ago. And she's demanding it anytime this week. So goodluck with my grand Manila welcome anytime soon. I'm sure it wouldn't be grand like I hoped it would be.
New thesis coming along, enrollment for my irregular subject, and this friend with the favor.
And I thought sembreak was supposed to be fun.
What do I want now?
On top of my head, I seriously want to go back to Manila. Other than that, all else is uncertain.
Going home where everything seems stagnant makes me stow away from what I thought were my goals back in Manila. It's different here when everybody else thinks you are this much, when in reality, you are only this enough. And people here would not understand your satisfaction. Ironically, they do not even get to half the satisfaction I have of myself. Sad.
Napagod ako.
And there's this friend who's been nagging me about editing a video for her months ago. And she's demanding it anytime this week. So goodluck with my grand Manila welcome anytime soon. I'm sure it wouldn't be grand like I hoped it would be.
New thesis coming along, enrollment for my irregular subject, and this friend with the favor.
And I thought sembreak was supposed to be fun.
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